+wonders whether %s would be willing to take %s's speeding points
+thinks %s is teal to %s's orange
+thinks %s and %s should go hiking on the Appalachian Trail
+offers %s and %s 200 quid a year if they get married
+wonders whether %s and %s keep a dunking beaker beside the bed
+invites %s and %s to a private IRC channel, and leaves them to it
+blames %s and %s's relationship for the recent weather
+thinks %s and %s should protest against FIFA
+admires %s and %s's railcard photos
+divides %s by %s
+gives %s and %s a box of condoms and a knowing look
+snoops on %s and %s talking qwerty to each other