new flirts from rejs

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 2a4a0822f60f108d0ab5b17c809b77014e88efc2..dd374c3270f56808308d2d294c82db2d4bb80a1e 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -504,7 +504,6 @@ granulates %s
 removes %s from its Christmas card list
 bulldozes %s's house
 clobbers %s
-thinks %s is only good enough to play for Accrington Stanley
 distributes poisson in %s's direction
 poisons %s
 requests that some friendly bombs fall on %s
@@ -585,3 +584,28 @@ shuts down all "inessential" government activities and blames it on %s
 refuses to raise %s's debt ceiling
 gives %s a reminder to call the vet
 stores %s in a cool dark place, away from strong odours
+compares %s to the null trout
+folds %s into an elaborate origami representation of nothing
+discovers that %s cannot be repaired using common workshop tools
+decides that %s's genitalia would not be much use as a trout
+cleans %s's clock
+asks %s to quit their jibber-jabber
+sets %s's sticky bit
+eats %s
+drives round in a van telling %s to go home
+darns %s
+refers the castration of %s with a bread-knife to the ethics committee, then ignores their verdict
+thinks %s couldn't fool Baldrick
+believes %s is only half witty
+replaces the GUI on %s's smartphone with a CLI
+changes %s's password to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
+mails %s two hemispheres of plutonium and assembly instructions
+makes %s a plutonium omelette
+punishment-passes %s
+poisons %s's last Rolo
+forces %s to model the Sarah Lund knitwear collection
+leaves %s a card claiming that fish delivery was attempted but they were out
+optimises %s to a NOP
+causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
+multiplies %s by zero
+divides %s by zero