new flirt from rejs

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index e02f9fcb2a73ce7b88d362ee6f40d145fd3c4a7c..a949e2f0303527c2f94e3f5b4a2bf2d520fbd3d9 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -671,3 +671,29 @@ goes to Buckingham Palace to request that %s be dissolved
 removes %s's head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes)
 kippers %s
 notes that %s almost makes XML look good
+breaks up %s's favourite band
+does that thing %s hates
+replaces %s with the phrase 'fart fart fart'
+outsources trouting %s to Capita
+laminates %s
+sends %s to trout camp
+thinks %s's website is best viewed in lynx
+migrates %s's broadband to TalkTalk
+blames %s for the next trout
+spaghettifies %s
+changes %s's phone number to an illegal prime number
+assaults %s with a double bass
+assaults %s with a single bass
+"peacefully liberates" %s
+shears %s
+attacks %s with a salmon cannon
+outsources %s's brain to #chiark
+apologizes for the inconvenience caused by %s
+operates a %s-free environment, for your comfort and convenience
+tars %s
+requires %s to submit all their requests for trouts through the service desk
+rot13s %s's wibbly bits
+rearranges all the cards in %s's wallet
+forces %s to revoke all their biometrics
+writes an essay entitled "%s Considered Harmful"
+gives %s a five-second head start then releases the hounds