new trout from rjk (ref Stross)

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 62caf28186e282efecab5c1d8668d3610044a976..86c2758aacb817465ac463af8e6eeabe0751fdac 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -590,3 +590,30 @@ discovers that %s cannot be repaired using common workshop tools
 decides that %s's genitalia would not be much use as a trout
 cleans %s's clock
 asks %s to quit their jibber-jabber
+sets %s's sticky bit
+eats %s
+drives round in a van telling %s to go home
+darns %s
+refers the castration of %s with a bread-knife to the ethics committee, then ignores their verdict
+thinks %s couldn't fool Baldrick
+believes %s is only half witty
+replaces the GUI on %s's smartphone with a CLI
+changes %s's password to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
+mails %s two hemispheres of plutonium and assembly instructions
+makes %s a plutonium omelette
+punishment-passes %s
+poisons %s's last Rolo
+forces %s to model the Sarah Lund knitwear collection
+leaves %s a card claiming that fish delivery was attempted but they were out
+optimises %s to a NOP
+causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
+multiplies %s by zero
+divides %s by zero
+declares %s to be illegal, unworkable, and counter productive
+grudgingly conceeds that %s is not as bad as NFS
+causes "eaten by wolves" to appear on %s's screen
+makes kittens illegal just to annoy %s
+books the WBC to protest %s's funeral
+ditches %s's skin
+wonders whether to bother stunning %s
+slave-chips %s