new trout from rjk

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index f288b0064dbbf45307fa7c7e8aa99be4418d480c..408e3e299199af6bb1ff5dfc9717f09aaf694180 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -570,3 +570,23 @@ invites John Major to explain the Maastricht Treaty to %s
 pokes %s with a bayonet
 trains %s with an eel
 drinks %s's milkshake
+prints 32767 copies of the Windows Printer Test Page just for %s
+measures %s up for a casket
+appoints %s drummer for Spinal Tap
+will proclaim %s's faults
+inserts a cuddly trout into %s's pizza
+whacks %s over the head with a ukulele
+delivers 28,000 tonnes of coal to %s
+buys %s a Windows phone
+politely suggests %s look at the documentation
+bends all %s's spoons
+gets Jony Ive to redecorate %s's house
+shuts down all "inessential" government activities and blames it on %s
+refuses to raise %s's debt ceiling
+gives %s a reminder to call the vet
+stores %s in a cool dark place, away from strong odours
+compares %s to the null trout
+folds %s into an elaborate origami representation of nothing
+discovers that %s cannot be repaired using common workshop tools
+decides that %s's genitalia would not be much use as a trout
+cleans %s's clock