fragments %s
disqualifies %s from the human race
filters all the happy stories out of %s's Facebook feed
+reschedules %s onto a flight to TTD
+performs a machine-gun sonata for %s
+pushes a pineapple in a painful direction for %s
+calls for a government inquiry into %s
+decides %s deserves their own .fish domain
+shares its earworm with %s
+wishes %s would let it go
+demotes %s to Chief Whip