court-martials %s
suggests %s stick a pair of underpants on their head and pencils up their nose
demands the source code to %s
-places four beetles in $s's bed
+places four beetles in %s's bed
finds %s even less amusing than "your mum" jokes
drags and drops %s
sets the vermicious knids on %s
multiplies %s by zero
divides %s by zero
declares %s to be illegal, unworkable, and counter productive
-grudgingly conceeds that %s is not as bad as NFS
+grudgingly concedes that %s is not as bad as NFS
causes "eaten by wolves" to appear on %s's screen
makes kittens illegal just to annoy %s
books the WBC to protest %s's funeral
changes %s's ringtone to "Agadoo"
showers %s in unexpected raisins
promises not to cancel cuts to the %s budget
+takes the sky from %s
+nerve-staples %s
+distims %s's doshes
+claims to be offended by %s and asks them to hide in a corner under a tablecloth
+trims %s
+sends %s an AOL CD
+crimps %s's bottom
+offers %s sartorial tips from Michael Portillo
+nominates %s for seedy depletion
+serves inferior fish to %s
+concretizes %s
+octofurcates %s
+thwaps %s with a SuperFish
+wheelclamps %s
+dumps a statue of Margaret Thatcher on %s's doorstep
+sends %s driving through Argentina in a car with an offensive numberplate
+changes %s's password to 'dQw4w9WgXcQ'
+marks %s "con sordino"
+goes to Buckingham Palace to request that %s be dissolved