marries %s just so it can cheat on them
lobs bricks at %s
nuisance-calls %s
-belms at %s
inserts %s into a tin of shoe polish
thinks %s's village is missing its idiot
court-martials %s
bulldozes %s's house
clobbers %s
thinks %s is only good enough to play for Accrington Stanley
+distributes poisson in %s's direction
+poisons %s
+requests that some friendly bombs fall on %s
+prunes %s
+sends all %s's packets via Royal Mail
+tortures %s then bills them for information retrieval
+quietly converts %s into a number
+thinks %s should take up Russian roulette
+removes from %s's computer all the interfaces that Apple now consider obsolete
+shrink-wraps %s
+sends %s to a shrink
+shaves %s
+volunteers %s for a position as gladiator at the Colosseum
+freezes %s in carbonite
+applies a tramp stamp to %s
+toasts %s
+proves to a UN inspector that %s is "beyond use"
+shortens all %s's URLs
+sends %s on a snipe hunt
+removes %s from its will
+puts banana in %s's shoe
+puts a scorpion in %s's shoe
+drives too fast then claims %s was driving
+threatens to make the sky fall on %s's head
+wonders how many ships %s's face would sink
+calls %s a melon-farmer
+puts a Tesco Value Burger in %s's bed
+considers %s right but repulsive
+kicks %s's ass
+reads the comments to %s
+undefines %s
+pixelates %s
+puts a tarantula in %s's bath
+invites the Blame Cube to %s's party
+dusts %s
+installs Windows Vista on %s's computer
+installs Windows ME on %s's computer
+taxes %s
+throws a triangular flapjack at %s
+burns %s's bridges
+hides %s's towel
+tells %s about Roko's Basilisk
+covers %s in bees
+sets a Mongol horde upon %s
+signs up %s for the next Christmas production in Ambridge
+gives %s a cookie
+thinks %s deserves a 21 trout salute
+pills %s
+sends %s a UKIP application form and some green ink
+berates %s for not paying road tax
+partitions %s
+proclaims "%s est omnis divisa in partes tres"
~matthewv / irc.git / blobdiff