new trout from rjk

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index fa7fe7f9dc3d344a1f0eeb3583339b5b89872d2a..22cea9bc130fdd31303d24138909345f275e8c8a 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -207,7 +207,7 @@ supplements %s with a fish
 hits %s with an omega-3-supplemented fish finger
 blows a vuvuzela in %'s ear
 reads the Eye of Argon to %s
-traps %s in a lift with Steve Jobs
+traps %s in a lift with Alan Sugar
 pops a cap in %s's ass
 spies on %s through their webcam
 sets flying monkeys on %s
@@ -299,3 +299,65 @@ posts %s a French letter (used)
 substitutes a Trabant for %s's usual transport
 abolishes %s's human rights
 offers %s the job of Home Secretary
+attacks %s with Ewoks
+irons %s
+runs %s over with a SIGBUS
+ties %s to a sheep and then blows it up
+ties %s to a sheep
+locks %s in a room with a bottle of whisky and a loaded pistol
+beats %s with a SIGPIPE
+excommunicates %s
+anathematizes %s
+releases woodworm into %s's library
+releases Vashta Nerada into %s's library
+shreds %s then recycles the evidence
+sells %s second-hand. For cash
+curries %s
+grinds %s's bones to make its bread
+airbrushes %s out of history
+replaces %s's files with XML
+tases %s
+munmaps %s
+puts a daily "kill %s" event into its calendar
+slights %s
+destroys the world because it has %s in it
+thinks %s fills a much-needed gap
+attempts to underestimate %s but fails
+circulates a pamphlet traducing %s
+fits up %s for the murder of someone photogenic
+scales %s down
+steals %s's immune system
+moves %s's home directory to a tmpfs
+uses %s as a scratch monkey
+denies %s three times
+casually pepper-sprays %s
+sticks an orange on %s's head
+sings the Free Software Song to %s
+immerses %s in Coca Cola
+presents %s with half a mouse
+blames %s for the latest trout
+arranges for %s to be devoured in the night by gerbils
+flattens %s
+bites %s
+nationalises %s
+renormalises %s
+accuses %s of witchcraft
+turns %s into a newt
+signs %s up for bulk fish delivery
+picks %s's low-hanging fruit
+installs Rick Santorum in %s's bedroom
+makes it known that the prime minister has "full confidence" in %s
+collides a large haddock with %s
+attacks %s with a banana
+scraps %s
+rackmounts %s
+assaults %s with Margaret Thatcher's handbag
+LARTs %s
+bustitutes %s
+downgrades %s's A-level results
+admires %s's valves
+forces %s to walk the plank
+maroons %s on a desert island with only eight records and a useless luxury object for company
+creates a black hole and pushes %s beyond the event horizon
+shoves a giant picture of Jimmy Wales in %s's face
+pays The Who to follow %s around