new flirts from rjk

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 8a550bff6fa0ac1a56030dc56ed3d22c93194e3c..1f7d1eddcc6ac326e2caa4515e2b326ebc85f0c7 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -258,3 +258,51 @@ writes 'I <3 U' in weedkiller on %s's lawn
 treats %s to 30,000 words on blancmange in popular culture
 vandalises %s's wikipedia entry
 adds #! /usr/bin/perl to the top of %s's python scripts
+pen-tests %s
+steals %s's vital bodily fluids
+hides a bomb in %s's cornflakes
+replaces %s's files with zalgo
+corrupts %s's DNA
+lies in wait for %s with a taser, some rubber tubing and a hacksaw
+shivs %s
+tells the Daily Mail all about %s
+puts a spring-loaded cactus in %s's toilet
+shops %s to the police
+varnishes %s's cake 
+malfunctions and machine-guns %s to death
+disarms %s, and then kills them anyway
+forces %s to sit through a week of compliance training
+blames %s
+challenges %s to a duel
+removes %'s atoms
+removes %'s electrons
+sends %s a SIGINT
+sends %s a SIGKILL
+rents %s's skull to a hermit crab
+unleashes 500 bears on %s
+inserts #! into %s's URL
+reimplements %s in JavaScript
+betrays %s
+disproves %s
+goes to war with %s
+declines %s
+explains the joke to %s at great length
+steals %s's name
+spatchcocks %s
+offers %s a role in its new snuff movie
+fills %s's schedule with pointless meetings
+whispers sweet business jargon in %s's ear
+steals %s's underwear and ebays it
+doesn't see a great need for %s
+edits %s's pants
+posts %s a French letter (used)
+substitutes a Trabant for %s's usual transport
+abolishes %s's human rights
+offers %s the job of Home Secretary
+attacks %s with Ewoks
+irons %s
+runs %s over with a SIGBUS
+ties %s to a sheep and then blows it up
+ties %s to a sheep
+locks %s in a room with a bottle of whisky and a loaded pistol
+beats %s with a SIGPIPE