paints Tom Jones purple for %s
buys %s a ++Rowan Bear
imagines %s in a pair of Daisy Dukes
+wonders if %s would like to meet its sister
+wouldn't give a ... Castlemaine XXXX for anyone but %s
+hacks into a spy satellite just to get a better look at %s
+buys extra disk space just for pictures of %s
+conjugates %s
+offers %s a role in its new movie
+resolves to grass on rejs more often (at the instigation of %s)
+turns %s into a pillar of salt, and starts licking it