composes haiku for %s
makes the tea for %s
strokes %s's hair
-sprinkles %s with hundreds and thousands.
+sprinkles %s with hundreds and thousands
flagellates %s with a birch branch
<3s %s
admires %s's boots
compares %s to a summer's day
curls up at %s's feet
plays %s's theme tune
+sends for %s and more golden syrup
+puts %s on top of the Christmas tree
+writes flirts just for %s