new trout from rjk

[irc.git] / flirts

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index 97935652ffc384873060498724f834c0fd0059ca..4ab736599e66a9c57494f9f7c0e063e608e4c3d2 100644 (file)
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -297,7 +297,7 @@ compares %s's beauty to that of Helen of Troy
 wonders how many ships %s's face would launch
 hopes %s is highly available
 considers %s wrong but romantic
-sends % s an anonymous Valentine's Day card
+sends %s an anonymous Valentine's Day card
 imagines %s in a nurse's uniform
 asks the pianist to play "As Time Goes By" for %s
 gives %s a cookie
@@ -317,3 +317,33 @@ sets up a new TLD just for %s
 causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
 wonders whether %s's deviation is standard
 promises never to trout %s
+invites %s out on an ISO-8601 date
+hopes for an expose event from %s
+sends an expose event to %s
+starts wearing purple for %s
+invites %s to wrestle in custard
+sends the CEN a press release about how %s is wonderful
+commissions Holbein to paint a portrait of %s
+would never put %s in a corner
+promotes %s to Chief Whip
+sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows
+is all about %s's bass
+borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness
+considers %s to be one of its five a day
+wonders how many insertions %s is rated for
+covers %s in baby sloths
+throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention
+serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba
+hopes %s isn't non-free
+offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough
+fails to comprehend the difference between innocent flirtation and downright creepiness, causing %s to take out a restraining order
+performs the putty.exe for %s
+removes all the buttons from %s's blouse
+builds a monorail for %s
+wonders whether %s is to be loose or hump shunted
+gives %s head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes)
+wants to hear what %s got up to at band camp
+spoons %s
+wants to place an unexpected item in %s's bagging area
+puts on its robe and wizard hat for %s
+invites %s over for Netflix and chill