New trout from adam

[irc.git] / flirts

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index baea26e7c73d88fb44422f597e9e76b20a5a23c2..31243d730d6072d09aeddac72d07bf316ff37aa9 100644 (file)
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -329,3 +329,34 @@ promotes %s to Chief Whip
 sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows
 is all about %s's bass
 borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness
+considers %s to be one of its five a day
+wonders how many insertions %s is rated for
+covers %s in baby sloths
+throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention
+serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba
+hopes %s isn't non-free
+offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough
+fails to comprehend the difference between innocent flirtation and downright creepiness, causing %s to take out a restraining order
+performs the putty.exe for %s
+removes all the buttons from %s's blouse
+builds a monorail for %s
+wonders whether %s is to be loose or hump shunted
+gives %s head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes)
+wants to hear what %s got up to at band camp
+spoons %s
+wants to place an unexpected item in %s's bagging area
+puts on its robe and wizard hat for %s
+invites %s over for Netflix and chill
+admires %s's column of excellence
+maximises %s
+substitutes a Class 98 for %s's expected train service
+makes aeroplane nose art of %s
+buys %s a silicone octopus negative
+buys %s a silicone octopus
+proclaims it would walk a thousand miles to fall down at %s's door
+offers to take %s to a performance of Hamilton
+thinks %s is the hottest thing since sunburn
+performs a magnetic strip for %s
+probes %s in a friendly manner
+would not exchange %s for a wilderness of monkeys
+would not swap %s for a whole ocean of fishes