new trout from adam

[irc.git] / flirts

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index 5c28e1cafd487b95b3f80efc6aab0d9045755a92..2505b8f7735482e3e0fbc0cde3ea24002681cac0 100644 (file)
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -334,3 +334,23 @@ wonders how many insertions %s is rated for
 covers %s in baby sloths
 throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention
 serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba
+hopes %s isn't non-free
+offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough
+fails to comprehend the difference between innocent flirtation and downright creepiness, causing %s to take out a restraining order
+performs the putty.exe for %s
+removes all the buttons from %s's blouse
+builds a monorail for %s
+wonders whether %s is to be loose or hump shunted
+gives %s head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes)
+wants to hear what %s got up to at band camp
+spoons %s
+wants to place an unexpected item in %s's bagging area
+puts on its robe and wizard hat for %s
+invites %s over for Netflix and chill
+admires %s's column of excellence
+maximises %s
+substitutes a Class 98 for %s's expected train service
+makes aeroplane nose art of %s
+buys %s a silicone octopus negative
+buys %s a silicone octopus
+proclaims it would walk a thousand miles to fall down at %s's door