LARTs %s
bustitutes %s
downgrades %s's A-level results
-admires %s's valves
forces %s to walk the plank
maroons %s on a desert island with only eight records and a useless luxury object for company
creates a black hole and pushes %s beyond the event horizon
pays The Who to follow %s around
liquidizes %s's assets
reduces %s to a soup-like homogenate
+asks Vladimir Putin to deal with %s
+thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's love life
+thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's investment strategy
+deconstructs %s
+attributes photos of Greek antiquities to %s and informs the Hellenic Ministry of Culture
+edits all %s's trouts to make them funny
+steals %s's shoes
+ties %s's shoelaces together
+compares %s to a winter's day
+forces %s to wear Princess Beatrice's hat
+sticks a deckchair up %s's nose
+places a PIX between %s and the rest of the world
+sends a person from Porlock to disturb %s
+sends an albatross to disturb %s