kidnaps %s and fills their shoes with custard
plays Britney Spears songs at %s
fills %s's ears with butter
-inverts %s
throws %s to the lions
sacrifices %s for the greater good
patents %s's genome
compiles %s with -Wtrigraphs
turns %s into dogfood
><> ><> %s
-sets %s and robhu up on a blind date
gently taps %s with a menhir
invests all of %s's money in a high-grade structured credit strategy enhanced leverage fund
plays the viola at %s
rains wheelbarrows on %s
nominates %s for the UK Usenet Committee
hits %s with a replica of Milan cathedral
+has %s transported to Botany Bay
+petitions the PM to abolish %s
+sneezes all over %s
+speculatively executes %s
+screams and leaps at %s
+hits %s with a cockatrice corpse
+sets %s up on a blind date with Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand
+gives %s a hard stare
+neuralyzes %s
+press-gangs %s
+feeds %s fugu kimo
+sends %s on an adventure holiday organised by Weyland-Yutani
+thous %s
+puts potato eyes down %s's shirt