throws %s a bone
invites %s to go jump
throws jelly at %s
-throws %s from the top of the empire state building
+throws %s from the top of the Empire State Building
drops a small hydrogen bomb on %s
curses %s unto the seventh generation
asks if %s is a man or a mouse
appoints Tony Blair "peace envoy" to %s
resizes %s
paints %s purple and waits for the goths
+plays the bagpipes at %s
+bricks %s up without a cask of Amontillado
+marries %s just so it can cheat on them
+lobs bricks at %s
+nuisance-calls %s
+belms at %s
+inserts %s into a tin of shoe polish
+thinks %s's village is missing its idiot
+court-martials %s
+suggests %s stick a pair of underpants on their head and pencils up their nose
+demands the source code to %s
+places four beetles in $s's bed
+finds %s even less amusing than "your mum" jokes
+drags and drops %s
+sets the vermicious knids on %s
+bashes %s
+bites %s's neck
+puts jam in %s's printer
+delivers seven thousand octopuses to %s
+removes all the buttons from %s's mouse
+moderates %s
+declares %s off-topic
+throws a custard pie at %s
+fills %s's bath with ducks
+parks across %s's driveway