shaves %s
volunteers %s for a position as gladiator at the Colosseum
freezes %s in carbonite
-applies a tramp stamp to %s
toasts %s
proves to a UN inspector that %s is "beyond use"
shortens all %s's URLs
sasses %s
steals %s's mojo
steals %s's mojito
+harshes %s's vibe
+gives %s negative-utility cake
+converts all %s's money into Botcoin
+fills %s's car with frozen iguanas
+stashes acorns throughout %s's favoured means of transport
+bowdlerises %s
+abates %s's coat of arms
+banishes %s
+hands %s a <pred> T-shirt
+tells Cambridge Analytica everything it knows about %s
+shrinks %s's head
+sets %s's snails on fire
+drops the Tsar Bomba on %s