compiles %s with -Wtrigraphs
turns %s into dogfood
><> ><> %s
-sets %s and robhu up on a blind date
gently taps %s with a menhir
invests all of %s's money in a high-grade structured credit strategy enhanced leverage fund
plays the viola at %s
puts all %s's computers behind NAT
punches %s
affixes live crocodiles to %s
+tortures %s with the collected bad puns of #chiark
+signs %s up for the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation choir
+deports %s
+thinks %s is even less relevant than Nick Clegg
+forces %s to listen to David Cameron's speeches
+sticks %s in a small room with Ian Paisley
+rains she-trolls down upon %s
+rains wheelbarrows on %s
+hits %s with a replica of Milan cathedral
+has %s transported to Botany Bay