wonders whether %s and %s are a good genetic match
orders %s and %s to be screened for STIs
thinks %s and %s need to find a less creaky bed
+hopes %s and %s are using appropriate protection
+gets ideas for new slashes from watching %s and %s
+thinks %s and %s form a twisted pair
+threatens to expose %s and %s's illicit affair if they don't pay up
+lends %s and %s a copy of the "Kama Sutra"