sings, "%s and %s, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g"
sets up %s and %s on a blind date
thinks %s and %s should get a room!
+watches %s and %s doing things that mtbc would filter
+mails photos of %s and %s to the News Of The World
+discovers that %s and %s have starred in hundreds of hard-core pornographic films together
+wonders whether %s and %s are a good genetic match
+orders %s and %s to be screened for STIs
+thinks %s and %s need to find a less creaky bed
+hopes %s and %s are using appropriate protection
+gets ideas for new slashes from watching %s and %s
+thinks %s and %s form a twisted pair
+threatens to expose %s and %s's illicit affair if they don't pay up
+lends %s and %s a copy of the "Kama Sutra"
+shows drawings of %s naked to %s