wonders how many ships %s's face would launch
hopes %s is highly available
considers %s wrong but romantic
-sends % s an anonymous Valentine's Day card
+sends %s an anonymous Valentine's Day card
imagines %s in a nurse's uniform
asks the pianist to play "As Time Goes By" for %s
gives %s a cookie
invites %s to wrestle in custard
sends the CEN a press release about how %s is wonderful
commissions Holbein to paint a portrait of %s
+would never put %s in a corner
+promotes %s to Chief Whip
+sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows
+is all about %s's bass
+borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness
+considers %s to be one of its five a day
+wonders how many insertions %s is rated for
+covers %s in baby sloths
+throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention
+serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba
+hopes %s isn't non-free
+offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough