compares %s to a summer's day
curls up at %s's feet
plays %s's theme tune
+sends for %s and more golden syrup
+puts %s on top of the Christmas tree
+writes flirts just for %s
+thinks %s is the new hotness
+imagines %s in a sailor outfit
+would like to cause earthquakes with %s
+creates an "I bet we can get a million people who fancy %s" group on Facebook
+becomes a fan of %s
+turns down the house lights for %s
+invites %s up to see its iPad
+can't wait to unbox %s
+dips %s in honey and throws them to the lesbians
+blows %s' vuvuzela