+ditches %s's skin
+wonders whether to bother stunning %s
+slave-chips %s
+deposes %s
+gives %s a Brazilian
+deletes %s unread
+sticks a ferret up %s's nose
+buys %s a copy of a Louise Bagshawe novel
+fails to exterminate %s, then blames them for moving the goalposts
+causes the Italian government to collapse and makes %s prime minister
+fragments %s
+disqualifies %s from the human race
+filters all the happy stories out of %s's Facebook feed
+reschedules %s onto a flight to TTD
+performs a machine-gun sonata for %s
+pushes a pineapple in a painful direction for %s
+calls for a government inquiry into %s
+decides %s deserves their own .fish domain
+shares its earworm with %s
+wishes %s would let it go
+demotes %s to Chief Whip