+threatens to expose %s and %s's illicit affair if they don't pay up
+lends %s and %s a copy of the "Kama Sutra"
+shows drawings of %s naked to %s
+wonders if %s would be %s's deputy prime minister
+wonders when %s and %s will update their relationship status
+thinks %s and %s are almost as good together as Cameron and Clegg