+dyes its hair for %s
+newgroups alt.fan.%s
+tattoos %s's name on its bottom
+makes a backup copy of %s
+throws itself at %s's feet
+gets its tits out for %s
+buys %s a nice dress
+buys %s a revealing dress
+asks %s out on a date
+posts pictures of %s to rule34.paheal.net [NWS!]