| MECHANIC 2: | It's the end of an era. |
| MECHANIC: | Wintertime And the testin' is easy Tyres are jumpin' and the chassis is high Your sponsor's rich And your driver's goodlookin' So hush Mr Pollock, don't you cry. |
(The lights go up and we see an assemblage of MECHANICS from various teams standing in the pitlane around the soloist.)
| MECHANICS: | One of these mornings We're gonna rise up in protest And we'll get our P45s And run off to Grove. Until that mornin' There's nothin' gonna harm us, no With Craig and Adrian standing by. |
| BBD: | Just after the Canadian Grand Prix. |
| GRID GIRL 3: | So who's the father? |
(Pom. Pompom. Pompom, pom-pompom-pom pom, etc.)
| BBD: | Summer loving had me a blast |
| HHF: | Summer loving happened so fast |
| BBD: | I met a guy crazy for me |
| HHF: | Met a girl cute as can be |
| ALL: | Summer days drifting away oh oh the summer nights. |
| GRID GIRLS: | Tell me more, tell me more Did you get very far? |
| MECHANICS: | Tell me more, tell me more Did she damage the car? |
(ooh ooh-ha ha, ooh ooh-ha ha, etc.)
| BBD: | In the garage his dress sense was dire |
| HHF: | In the garage, she tripped over a tyre |
| BBD: | I didn't think that his sideburns were real |
| HHF: | She fell over in her high heels |
| ALL: | Summer sun something's begun but oh the summer nights. |
| MECHANICS: | (Well-uh, well-uh, well-uh
huh- etc.) Tell me more, tell me more Was it love at first sight? |
| GRID GIRLS: | Tell me more, tell me more Did he put up a fight? |
| BBD: | Took him out in my Dad's private plane |
| HHF: | We went to Disney and kissed in the rain |
| BBD: | Then I told him I would give him a call |
| HHF: | I've never heard from my sweetheart at all |
| ALL: | Summer fling don't mean a thing but oh oh the summer nights. |
| GRID GIRLS: | Tell me more, tell me more Did you break his poor heart? |
| MECHANICS | Tell me more, tell me more 'Cause she sounds like a tart |
| HHF: | I tried to kiss her after a while |
| BBD: | He got his kit off as soon as I smiled |
| HHF: | She was so confident for just fifteen |
| BBD: | Well he was good you know what I mean |
| ALL: | Summer heat boy and girl meet but oh oh the summer nights. |
| MECHANICS: | Tell me more, tell me more How much dough did she spend? |
| GRID GIRLS: | Tell me more, tell me more Could he get me his friend? |
| HHF: | She saw Jacques - that's where it ends |
| BBD: | So I told him we'd be just good friends |
| HHF: | She wouldn't make any love vows |
| BBD: | And who cares what he's doing now? |
| ALL: | Summer dreams ripped at the
seams but oh those summer nights |
Tell me more, tell me more ...
| BERNIE'S WIFE: | I've got your bubblegum case
that you gave to me And it's signed with love just like it used to be The only thing different, the only thing new I've got your bubblegum, she's got you. |
| I've got the baseball caps
that we used to share And they still look the same as when you were here The only thing different, the only thing new I've got the baseball caps, she's got you |
|
| I've got your memory, or,
has it got me? I really don't know but I know it won't let me be! |
|
| I've got your lucky pants,
that proved you cared And it still looks the same as when you gave it, dear The only thing different, the only thing new I've got your lucky pants, she's got you |
|
| I've got your memory, or,
has it got me? I really don't know but I know it won't let me be |
|
| I've got your engraved
tampon case that proved you cared And it still looks the same as when you gave it, dear The only thing different, the only thing new I've got the tampon case, she's-got-you |
| SCHUMACHER: | May the best man, car, tyres and engine combination win! |
| MCLAREN MECHANICS: | The Macs are gonna have
their day Today The Macs are gonna have their day Today The Scuderia Ferrari grumble 'Fair fight' But if they start a rumble We'll rumble'em right! |
| FERRARI MECHANICS: | We're gonna hand'em a
surprise Today We're gonna cut'em down to size Today We said 'OK no rumpus No tricks' But just in case they jump start We're ready to mix Today! |
| MCLAREN MECHANICS: | We're gonna win it today We're gonna sew it up And have us a ball |
| FERRARI MECHANICS: | They're gonna lose it today The more they turn it up The quicker they'll stall |
| MCLAREN MECHANICS: | Well they began it |
| FERRARI MECHANICS: | Well they began it |
| ALL: | And we're the ones to
stop'em once and for all Today |
| ERJA: | Erja's gonna get her kicks Tonight We'll have our private little mix Tonight He'll walk in hot and tired Poor dear! Don't matter if he's tired As long as he's near Tonight |
| MIKA HAKKINEN: | Tonight, tonight Won't be just any night Tonight I will be champion of the world. Tonight, tonight I'll see my love tonight And for us cars will stop Where they are |
| ERJA: | Today the minutes seem like
hours The laps go so slowly And still the sky is light Oh moon Grow bright And make this endless day Endless night |
| MCLAREN MECHANICS: | The Mercs are coming out on
top Today We're gonna watch Schumacher drop Today That cheatin' overpaid punk'll Go down And when he's hollered Goodyear We'll tear up the town |
| RON DENNIS: | We'll be backing you boy |
| MIKA: | Right |
| RON DENNIS: | You're gonna pass him good |
| MIKA: | Right |
| ERJA: | Tonight, tonight Won't be just any night Tonight there will be no morning star Tonight, tonight I'll see my love tonight And for us cars will stop Where they are |
| FERRARI MECHANICS: | We're gonna rock it today We're gonna jazz it today They're gonna get it today Today |
| ALL MECHANICS: | But they began it They began it They began it |
| MICHAEL & CORINNA: | Tonight the minutes seem
like hours The laps go so slowly And still the sky is light Oh moon Grow bright And make this endless day Endless night... |
| ALL MECHANICS: | And we're the ones to
stop'em once and for all The McLarens/The Scuderia are gonna have their way The McLarens/The Scuderia are gonna have their day We're gonna rock it today... ...Today! |
| FERRARI MECHANIC: | Quick, lads! Here he comes! |
| MCLAREN MECHANIC: | Better get out of his way! |
| BERNIE ECCLESTONE: | It won't be easy, you'll
think it strange When I try to explain how I feel Why I don't need your track, now I've got Malaysia. You won't believe me. All you will see is the money you've lost Although you've still got Esteban At the back of the grid for you. |
| I had to make it happen, I
had to change Couldn't spend all my time flying here Looking out of the window, refuelling my Lear. So I chose Zuhai. Running around seeing every track But nobody paid me enough I never expected them to. |
|
| Don't cry for me, Argentina The truth is, I never liked you. All through my wild days My rich existence I kept my contracts We'll keep our distance. |
|
| And as for TV, and
pay-per-view I always invited them in And persuaded the world they were all they desired. They are much easier We don't need the race that you promised to hold The circuits were here all the time. I loathe you, and know you loathe me. |
|
| Don't cry for me, Argentina The truth is, I never liked you. All through my wild days My rich existence I kept my contracts We'll keep our distance. |
|
| Have I said too much? There's nothing more my lawyers will let me say to you. But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true. |
| MICHAEL SHUMACHER: | And now, the fight is near; And so I face the final start line. My friend, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case, of which I'm certain. |
| I've lived a life that's
full. I've traveled each and ev'ry circuit But more, much more than this, I did it my way. |
|
| Regrets, I've had a few; But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do And saw it through without exemption. |
|
| I planned each incident; Each bad excuse for impaired vision, But more, much more than this, I did it my way. |
|
| Yes, there were times, I'm
sure you knew When I connived to jump the queue. But through it all, when challenge loomed, I got out there and round I zoomed. I faced strong men and scored my ten, And won it my way. |
|
| I've loved, I've laughed and
cried. I've had my fill; my share of losing. And now, as tyres subside, I find it all so amusing. |
|
| To think I did all that; And may I say - not in a shy way, "No, oh no not me, I did it myyyyyyy waaaaaaaay". |
| CHORUS: | Don't want your
t-y-y-y-y-y-y-yres anymore Don't want your cha-a-a-a-a-assis, that's for sure I die each time I hear this sound "Here he co-o-o-o-omes, that's Schumi's clown" |
| I've gotta stand tall, You know a racin' man don't crawl. But when the pitlane knows you're first and they laugh from Hill to Wurz I'm no racer then at all |
|
| CHORUS | When I spray that third
place booze Don't you know I hate to lose Do you think the top step's yours, that I'll never get my chance Or don't you even care? |
| FADE | That's Schumi's clown That's Schumi's clown |
| JV: | Thank God this season's over. I couldn't take any more humiliation. |
| JV: | Midnight Not a sound from the racetrack Has the moon lost her memory She is smiling alone In the lamplight The blistered tyres collect at my feet And the brakes begin to moan |
| Memory All alone in the moonlight I can dream of the old days I was wonderful then I remember the time I knew what victory was Let the memory live again |
|
| Every start light seems to
beat A fatalistic warning Marshals mutter and the tyre wall flutters And once again I'm losing |
|
| Daylight I must wait for the start lights I must think of a new team And I mustn't give in When the start comes Tonight will be a memory too And a new race will begin |
|
| Burnt out shells of smoking
tyres The exhaust fume smell of morning A flag is waved Another race is over Another year is dawning |
|
| Touch me, It's so easy to leave me All alone with the memory Of the podium's top step If you'll touch me, You'll understand what victory is Look, a new race has begun... |
| JV: | Sometimes I wish I was back driving in America. |
| AZ: | You must be kidding. I couldn't wait to get away. |
| ZANARDI: | Indianapolis My hearts' devotion Let it sink back in the ocean |
| Always the spectators
roaring Always the audiences growing And the prizes owing And the yellow flags streaming And the drivers steaming |
|
| I like the village of Grove Smoke on your pipe And put that in! |
|
| ZANARDI: | Sick of the sight of America Won everything in America Take me away from America! |
| JV: | Wish you'd stayed back in America! |
| ZANARDI: | No pay-per-view in America |
| JV: | Short advert breaks in America |
| ZANARDI: | Tedious tracks in America |
| JV: | It never rains in America! |
| JV: | Want to go back to America Indycars rule in America Team bosses nice in America |
| ZANARDI: | Failures run home to America! |
| ZANARDI: | I think I'll head for sweet Oxon |
| JV: | I know what plane you can get on |
| ZANARDI: | Everyone there will give big
cheers The last time they will lose for years! |
| ALL: | Hello, Hello. It's good to
be back, it's good to be back. Hello, Hello. It's good to be back, it's good to be back. Did you miss us, Yeah, while we were away, did you steal our engines turn them to rust? Did you fear us, Yeah, every single day, when you really couldn't see us for dust? And did you love us, Yeah, like a backmarker should, did you tell your drivers they're no good, Did you love us, Yeah, in your little world, Although you couldn't see us at all, although you couldn't see us at all |
| Hello, Hello, it's good to
be back, it's good to be back, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, we're back again, we're back, we're on the right track, Hello, tell all your staff that we're back, as a matter of fact, as a matter of fact we're back |
|
| ADRIAN NEWEY (solo): | Do you miss me, Yeah, since
I've been gone, Did you tremble about what I might
design? Did you miss me, Yeah, all season long and rue the silver contract I'd signed? And did you want me, Yeah, to come back again? Did you know I've been off gardening, did you want me, Yeah, Did you tell all your lawyers to think about me every day To think about me every day? |
| ALL: | Hello, Hello, it's good to
be back, it's good to be back, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, we're back again, we're back, we're on the right track, Hello, Hello, it's is good to be back, it's good to be back, |
(etc., etc., ad nauseam, ad infinitum)
| DC: | And I'm shure that Mika remembers every bit of this fantashtic seashon, even if I don't. |
| MH: | It's astounding Starts are fleeting Stalling Takes its toll. But accelerate gently |
| DC: | Not for very much longer |
| MH: | You've got to stay on pole. |
| I remember Doing the first lap Drinking Those gas fumes in My team-mate would hit me |
|
| DC/MH: | And the pits would be calling |
| ALL: | LET'S DO THE FIRST LAP
AGAIN! LET'S DO THE FIRST LAP AGAIN! |
| MURRAY: | It's just a jink to the left |
| ALL: | And then a spin to the riiiiiiiiight! |
| MURRAY: | Take your hands off the wheel |
| ALL: | And pull your knees in tight But it's the gravel trap That really drives you insa-a-a-a-ane LET'S DO THE FIRST LAP AGAIN! |
| DC: | It's so rainy Oh thunderstorms, free me So he can't see me Oh no, not at all. |
| MS: | His lack of attention With homicidal intention From my three wheels, I see all. |
| MH: | If you're feeling your clutch fall |
| DC: | You're into the tyre wall |
| MH: | Your grid slot will never be the same |
| DC: | You're spaced out on sensation |
| SALO/JV: | End up under sedation! |
| ALL: | LET'S DO THE FIRST LAP
AGAIN! LET'S DO THE FIRST LAP AGAIN! |
| RALF: | Well I was coming up the
grid just having a spin When the snake on my nose gave me a evil wink It fell right off, it took me by surprise When I got back to the pits I got the boss' eye He stared at me and I felt a change My contract meant nothing, never would again. |
| ALL: | LET'S DO THE FIRST LAP
AGAIN! LET'S DO THE FIRST LAP AGAIN! |
| MURRAY: | It's just a jink to the left |
| ALL: | And then a spin to the riiiiiiiiight! |
| MURRAY: | Take your hands off the wheel |
| ALL: | And pull your knees in tight But it's the gravel trap That really drives you insa-a-a-a-ane LET'S DO THE FIRST LAP AGAIN! |
(Fades into The Wedding March)
If you liked the songs that have been murdered in this season ending episode of Maranello, you may like to purchase one of the soundtracks listed below (if only to drive from your mind the sound of Bernie Ecclestone's singing).
Maranello receives a tiny cut of the cover price should you purchase any of the products below (or those advertised on Episode 10. Maranello and its author is cautious about the commercialisation of the Internet, but it costs money to keep Maranello running, and amazon.com seem to be a reputable retailer - so please support this partnership initiative. Or don't - it's a free world (sort of).
Next month - Jacques Villeneuve Sings The Torch Songs...