Aubergine Tiramisu Armadillo
(Theodolite absence)

The Armadillo class cruiser descended noisily to the surface, its huge
landing thrusters cutting out as it neared the spaceport and started
to rely solely on small manoeuvring thrusters and Station Control's
guidance tractors to bring it safely home.  Two years after it had
left Earth to investigate threats at the edge of navigable space, it
was returning to report.  General Silpem looked anxiously throug
Control's thick curved plexiglass shield-screen.  Was that signs of
damage to the hull?  Had they found the threat and been attacked by
it?  Was his eldest son safe and well?

Under normal circumstances they would have known all these things long
before the ship came home, but the last sensor reading they had had
from it, a year ago as it began its patrol had indicated a failure of
the communications systems and they'd heard nothing from it since.
Their only way of monitoring it had been by asking the astronomers to
keep an eye out, confirming that the distant object was still moving
under its own power.  Now it was here, making a textbook
landing/docking -- he, and the Space Agency, could never quite decide
what to call a homecoming to a land-based spaceport -- as Silpem sat
at the window nervously prodding his slowly melting tiramisu with a
fork.  A common joke in the ranks was that the General's weight had
increased with his rank; certainly he liked his desserts and would
often find that sitting down and eating calmed him.  Right now, he
needed calming.

The docking tunnel extended from the front, the snout, of the craft,
as the thousands of adjustable solar panels on its body that gave the
ship its name rotated flat.  There was a loud `clunk' and the General
got up and walked down to the embarkation hall to meet the rest of his
staff.  Security measures were everywhere in evidence: the airlock
door was flanked by military police with flak jackets and guns, and
rifles were targeted on the same area from all sides.  This was a
friendly craft returning, yes, but they didn't know it was still
friendly or what had happened to its inhabitants.  As ever in the SA,
caution was paramount.

`How long to wait?'  Silpem asked the Landing Procedures Officer.

The LPO looked up from his clipboard.  `Should be...' a siren sounded,
and there was a series of clunks as the airlock procedure
happened. '...about now.'

Silpem fiddled with the fork he found he'd brought with him from the
Officers' Mess, and the inner airlock door opened.  There was a hush
around the hall as rifles were trained on the opening.  Cautiously,
the General's son walked forward, hands in the air, looking around.
Silpem was already running towards him to embrace him in a huge bear
hug.

`Daniel!'

`Mrfl-a-meh Mmmm.'  The other man wrenched himself free and caught his
breath.  `Father, I'm back.'

After a second, the hall burst into applause, sustained as the other
members of the ship's command crew appeared.

After a thousand debriefings Silpem and Daniel were allowed a reunion
dinner together.  Daniel was tired, Silpem seemed troubled.  Perhaps
it was nerves.

`I've missed this, sitting together at dinner, talking about the day's
work.'

`It's been more than a day, Dad.  A year or more.'

`Two,' agreed Silpem.  `Are you OK?'

Daniel looked up.  `Sure.  A bit tired, but I'm fine.  This food's
delicious.'

Silpem peered at the other's plate.  `Really OK?'

`Yeah.'

`But you're eating aubergine.'

`And?'

Silpem pulled his pistol out and shot the other man between the eyes.
`Daniel couldn't stand aubergine.'

The metallic clang when the bullet hit was just confirmation.