new trouts, flirts, and slashes from rjk

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index 8e52595dd686cc974b2239cd2d4af1966c9152e9..0bd62418eccd33298a9592d36e4a4b03d961a801 100644 (file)
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -133,3 +133,8 @@ carves %s's name into its case
 makes billions of software copies of %s to practice seducing them
 fights trolls for %s
 swims the Hellespont for %s
+"accidentally" sends %s lewd pictures of itself using Twitter
+sends %s dead plant sex organs
+wears tinsel just for %s
+puts on chrome makeup for %s
+paints Tom Jones purple for %s

diff --git a/slashes b/slashes
index acdfc0cc094f059aff3a3845c9bd95701d60fa08..1810b9ba58e3d36b5c7c938fbb4946b1ab8ad4dc 100644 (file)
--- a/slashes
+++ b/slashes
@@ -44,3 +44,19 @@ bubblewraps %s and invites %s to start popping
 creates a .xxx domain just for %s and %s
 hides %s's ladle in %s's bed
 posts to twitter about the superinjunction %s and %s have taken out
+buys %s and %s matching underwear
+buys %s and %s matching hats
+kidnaps %s so that %s can rescue them
+thinks %s is the star in %s's show
+sells %s to %s
+introduces %s's and %s's parents to each other
+thinks %s and %s should have hot monkey sex right now
+thinks %s and %s should have hot armadillo sex right now
+thinks %s is the key to %s's lock
+sells commemorative DVDs of %s and %s's wedding
+speculates loudly, embarrassingly, and accurately about %s and %s's first night together
+posts the %s and %s sex tape to Youtube
+hangs around %s and %s's table playing the violin (badly)
+listens through the bedroom wall to %s and %s
+uses %s and %s to explain the facts of life to small children
+slips %s a condom with %s's name on

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 240729aed8139011973cd139325e497cd49c68d0..74ad16ee7ac3dc95ece8fd60c5f535387cc9a015 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -264,3 +264,8 @@ hides a bomb in %s's cornflakes
 replaces %s's files with zalgo
 corrupts %s's DNA
 lies in wait for %s with a taser, some rubber tubing and a hacksaw
+shivs %s
+tells the Daily Mail all about %s
+puts a spring-loaded cactus in %s's toilet
+shops %s to the police
+varnishes %s's cake