X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=fe30973b074f2f7fc3c776a686854cadc9c3407b;hp=836052843bfc1d6939316b9706d320a44c9da66b;hb=c8a150c267c013e4bfab895042326da6395ad09b;hpb=c9490f00dc6eab294b76fcec6a6d79fdff853ba2

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 8360528..fe30973 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -429,7 +429,7 @@ thinks %s's village is missing its idiot
 court-martials %s
 suggests %s stick a pair of underpants on their head and pencils up their nose
 demands the source code to %s
-places four beetles in $s's bed
+places four beetles in %s's bed
 finds %s even less amusing than "your mum" jokes
 drags and drops %s
 sets the vermicious knids on %s
@@ -608,7 +608,7 @@ causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
 multiplies %s by zero
 divides %s by zero
 declares %s to be illegal, unworkable, and counter productive
-grudgingly conceeds that %s is not as bad as NFS
+grudgingly concedes that %s is not as bad as NFS
 causes "eaten by wolves" to appear on %s's screen
 makes kittens illegal just to annoy %s
 books the WBC to protest %s's funeral
@@ -659,3 +659,137 @@ crimps %s's bottom
 offers %s sartorial tips from Michael Portillo
 nominates %s for seedy depletion
 serves inferior fish to %s
+concretizes %s
+octofurcates %s
+thwaps %s with a SuperFish
+wheelclamps %s
+dumps a statue of Margaret Thatcher on %s's doorstep
+sends %s driving through Argentina in a car with an offensive numberplate
+changes %s's password to 'dQw4w9WgXcQ'
+marks %s "con sordino"
+goes to Buckingham Palace to request that %s be dissolved
+removes %s's head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes)
+kippers %s
+notes that %s almost makes XML look good
+breaks up %s's favourite band
+does that thing %s hates
+replaces %s with the phrase 'fart fart fart'
+outsources trouting %s to Capita
+laminates %s
+sends %s to trout camp
+thinks %s's website is best viewed in lynx
+migrates %s's broadband to TalkTalk
+blames %s for the next trout
+spaghettifies %s
+changes %s's phone number to an illegal prime number
+assaults %s with a double bass
+assaults %s with a single bass
+"peacefully liberates" %s
+shears %s
+attacks %s with a salmon cannon
+outsources %s's brain to #chiark
+apologizes for the inconvenience caused by %s
+operates a %s-free environment, for your comfort and convenience
+tars %s
+requires %s to submit all their requests for trouts through the service desk
+rot13s %s's wibbly bits
+rearranges all the cards in %s's wallet
+forces %s to revoke all their biometrics
+writes an essay entitled "%s Considered Harmful"
+gives %s a five-second head start then releases the hounds
+adds trouting %s to its service catalogue
+adds snitching on %s to its service catalogue
+follows %s around tolling a bell and crying 'Shame!'
+cancels %s's favorite show, 3/4 of the way through the second season
+hits %s so hard that LIGO notices
+insults %s using the medium of interpretive dance
+comes out of its well to shame %s
+steals %s's skull
+beats %s to death with their own bloody femurs
+kicks %s down some hard stairs
+minimises %s
+deliberately misaddresses %s
+redirects all %s's Wikipedia requests to Conservapedia
+substitutes a Class 99 for %s's expected train service
+sends all %s's coffee to Germany
+thinks %s should resign from UKIP
+spiralizes %s
+hands %s an ominously ticking box
+breaks up the PLP to get rid of %s
+has the decency to stab %s in the front
+comes to the conclusion that %s can not do the job of prime minister
+builds a high wall around %s, then invoices them for construction costs
+posts %s's top
+posts %s's bottom
+thinks %s has the right grasp of nuance and fact to do well in UKIP
+holds a referendum on whether %s should leave #chiark
+invites Ken Livingstone to speak in defence of %s
+plays Freebird at %s
+locks %s in a room until they can play Freebird on Expert
+replaces %s's computer's startup chime with Freebird
+tests %s for bear-resistance
+calls for a referendum on %sexit
+lets loose a kea in %s's office
+dispatches an ambassador to deliver a tun of treasure to %s
+is going to have to visit Billingsgate before it can deal with %s
+slaps %s with a guppy, on the grounds that they're too insignificant to merit a bigger fish
+tests experimentally whether giant squid eat %s
+suspects %s lacks sufficient intelligence to find their way out of a Klein bottle
+replaces all of %s's music with copies of Schubert's quintet in A major for piano and strings
+trout-rolls %s
+hits %s with a frozen trout
+audits %s
+sits on %s's Jimmy Shands
+gets a toddler to shoot %s every week for 2 years
+tests whether %s dissolves in aqua regia
+marks %s's books
+reminds %s that trout means trout
+has %s impeached
+comments out %s
+decides that, from a distance, %s resembles flies
+places an elephant in %s's room
+accuses %s of violating the rule of tincture
+places %s in its basket of deplorables
+botsplains the topic to %s
+holds %s down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks
+recommends replacing %s's head
+mistakenly staples a faked-up OCSP unavailability response to %s's nose
+vents %s's spleen
+corrugates %s
+assaults %s with an organic carrot
+fills %s's NNTP server with fake news
+decides %s deserves an "alternative flirt"
+approves use of unnecessary violence in apprehension of %s
+debases %s
+papers over %s
+resolves to visit %s in the middle of the night dressed as Noseybonk
+considers %s less interesting than the rear end of a Volvo
+forces %s to shake hands with Donald Trump
+hashes %s
+threatens %s with a trout-replacement bus service
+has %s keelhauled
+makes %s pick oakum
+forces %s to work with the DUP
+slaps %s around a bit with U+1F40B
+excludes %s's middle
+throws a poo out of %s's bathroom window
+donates %s's brain to science
+converts %s into paperclips
+hijacks %s's brain for Dogecoin mining
+flattens, circularises and covers %s in cheese
+throws a cloth over %s's cage
+loses %s
+subjects %s to public inquiry
+buries %s in soft peat for three months
+sends %s a letter ordering them to leave the country ASAP
+threatens to overrule %s
+assaults %s in some inventive manner, then requests feedback on their trouting experience
+proposes the motion "This channel has no confidence in %s"
+chains %s to a block
+caches %s's thumbnails
+drops six kilotonnes of Marmite on %s
+cocks a snook at %s
+melts %s down
+deletes %s's microbiome
+sasses %s
+steals %s's mojo