X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=bf055b88a920e8feaf4c9be87701eb29b927ba1b;hp=a31cc73196f51c9052d8bd4449a30ae58ff500fe;hb=6be17b6d0b01229435fc7ca2c2498be8a89812ed;hpb=1963be510874f69a70c2844fedb44dfc2614b371

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index a31cc73..bf055b8 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -207,7 +207,7 @@ supplements %s with a fish
 hits %s with an omega-3-supplemented fish finger
 blows a vuvuzela in %'s ear
 reads the Eye of Argon to %s
-traps %s in a lift with Steve Jobs
+traps %s in a lift with Alan Sugar
 pops a cap in %s's ass
 spies on %s through their webcam
 sets flying monkeys on %s
@@ -331,3 +331,51 @@ moves %s's home directory to a tmpfs
 uses %s as a scratch monkey
 denies %s three times
 casually pepper-sprays %s
+sticks an orange on %s's head
+sings the Free Software Song to %s
+immerses %s in Coca Cola
+presents %s with half a mouse
+blames %s for the latest trout
+arranges for %s to be devoured in the night by gerbils
+flattens %s
+bites %s
+nationalises %s
+renormalises %s
+accuses %s of witchcraft
+turns %s into a newt
+signs %s up for bulk fish delivery
+picks %s's low-hanging fruit
+installs Rick Santorum in %s's bedroom
+makes it known that the prime minister has "full confidence" in %s
+collides a large haddock with %s
+attacks %s with a banana
+scraps %s
+rackmounts %s
+assaults %s with Margaret Thatcher's handbag
+LARTs %s
+bustitutes %s
+downgrades %s's A-level results
+forces %s to walk the plank
+maroons %s on a desert island with only eight records and a useless luxury object for company
+creates a black hole and pushes %s beyond the event horizon
+shoves a giant picture of Jimmy Wales in %s's face
+pays The Who to follow %s around
+liquidizes %s's assets
+reduces %s to a soup-like homogenate
+asks Vladimir Putin to deal with %s
+thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's love life
+thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's investment strategy
+deconstructs %s
+attributes photos of Greek antiquities to %s and informs the Hellenic Ministry of Culture
+edits all %s's trouts to make them funny
+steals %s's shoes
+ties %s's shoelaces together
+compares %s to a winter's day
+forces %s to wear Princess Beatrice's hat
+sticks a deckchair up %s's nose
+places a PIX between %s and the rest of the world
+sends a person from Porlock to disturb %s
+sends an albatross to disturb %s
+ebays %s, but the reserve is not met
+cancels %s's show
+unleashes a swarm of hungry midges upon %s