X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=a8e9c05ef1da613ea5a4e50f275fe57394d39369;hp=f288b0064dbbf45307fa7c7e8aa99be4418d480c;hb=1fd8b76d5e6fd90446ed96ef24b559a8c43230a9;hpb=a8a7244265d6db1713068edb8e51ff626b8447a9

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index f288b00..a8e9c05 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -504,7 +504,6 @@ granulates %s
 removes %s from its Christmas card list
 bulldozes %s's house
 clobbers %s
-thinks %s is only good enough to play for Accrington Stanley
 distributes poisson in %s's direction
 poisons %s
 requests that some friendly bombs fall on %s
@@ -570,3 +569,71 @@ invites John Major to explain the Maastricht Treaty to %s
 pokes %s with a bayonet
 trains %s with an eel
 drinks %s's milkshake
+prints 32767 copies of the Windows Printer Test Page just for %s
+measures %s up for a casket
+appoints %s drummer for Spinal Tap
+will proclaim %s's faults
+inserts a cuddly trout into %s's pizza
+whacks %s over the head with a ukulele
+delivers 28,000 tonnes of coal to %s
+buys %s a Windows phone
+politely suggests %s look at the documentation
+bends all %s's spoons
+gets Jony Ive to redecorate %s's house
+shuts down all "inessential" government activities and blames it on %s
+refuses to raise %s's debt ceiling
+gives %s a reminder to call the vet
+stores %s in a cool dark place, away from strong odours
+compares %s to the null trout
+folds %s into an elaborate origami representation of nothing
+discovers that %s cannot be repaired using common workshop tools
+decides that %s's genitalia would not be much use as a trout
+cleans %s's clock
+asks %s to quit their jibber-jabber
+sets %s's sticky bit
+eats %s
+drives round in a van telling %s to go home
+darns %s
+refers the castration of %s with a bread-knife to the ethics committee, then ignores their verdict
+thinks %s couldn't fool Baldrick
+believes %s is only half witty
+replaces the GUI on %s's smartphone with a CLI
+changes %s's password to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
+mails %s two hemispheres of plutonium and assembly instructions
+makes %s a plutonium omelette
+poisons %s's last Rolo
+forces %s to model the Sarah Lund knitwear collection
+leaves %s a card claiming that fish delivery was attempted but they were out
+optimises %s to a NOP
+causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
+multiplies %s by zero
+divides %s by zero
+declares %s to be illegal, unworkable, and counter productive
+grudgingly conceeds that %s is not as bad as NFS
+causes "eaten by wolves" to appear on %s's screen
+makes kittens illegal just to annoy %s
+books the WBC to protest %s's funeral
+ditches %s's skin
+wonders whether to bother stunning %s
+slave-chips %s
+deposes %s
+gives %s a Brazilian
+deletes %s unread
+sticks a ferret up %s's nose
+buys %s a copy of a Louise Bagshawe novel
+fails to exterminate %s, then blames them for moving the goalposts
+causes the Italian government to collapse and makes %s prime minister
+fragments %s
+disqualifies %s from the human race
+filters all the happy stories out of %s's Facebook feed
+reschedules %s onto a flight to TTD
+performs a machine-gun sonata for %s
+pushes a pineapple in a painful direction for %s
+calls for a government inquiry into %s
+decides %s deserves their own .fish domain
+shares its earworm with %s
+wishes %s would let it go
+demotes %s to Chief Whip
+accuses %s of handling salmon in suspicious circumstances
+throws shade at %s
+nominates %s for speedy deletion