X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=906485c0d01dedfb06e6e23b212bb127de3a7b02;hp=7b616ed99cb90954bbb7141e244580e45d53653a;hb=5735b3b710c34afa3c337bf6b53d2a932ceec399;hpb=dc39e3be395329331da43efaadc7e99d613cd920

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 7b616ed..906485c 100644
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 hits %s with a wet trout.
 thwaps %s with a five-mile-long spacestation.
 sacrifices %s to dark gods.
-bites his thumb at %s.
+bites its thumb at %s.
 replaces %s with a 2-line shell script
 takes off and nukes %s from orbit
 treats %s with the contempt they deserve
@@ -32,14 +32,14 @@ annihilates %s
 wonders what God was thinking of when He made %s
 removes %s from the gene pool
 performs a lube-less rectal on %s
-uses %s to practice his orthopedic surgery on
+uses %s to practice its orthopedic surgery on
 thinks %s would make excellent road-kill
 plays basketball with %s's head
 drops %s down a deep well
 covers %s in blancmange
 napalms %s
 finds %s particularly irksome
-feeds %s to his pet dog
+feeds %s to its pet dog
 reminds %s that life is not a game of Nethack
 thinks that %s would give a cannibal nausea
 wonders if %s is ever going to become a swan
@@ -98,3 +98,75 @@ fills %s's ears with butter
 inverts %s
 throws %s to the lions
 sacrifices %s for the greater good
+patents %s's genome.
+covers %s in attack hamsters.
+brandishes a spoon at %s.
+searches %s for weapons of mass destruction.
+smears %s in blood and waits for the sharks.
+cackles malevolently at %s.
+clones %s and eats the original.
+teaches %s to think inside a very small box.
+looms at %s.
+calls down an airstrike upon %s.
+feeds %s to the all-powerful Sarlacc.
+affixes live crocodile clips to %s.
+causes %s to have acute razor burn.
+places the fleas of a thousand camels in %s's armpit.
+sticks %s's head on a spike.
+brings %s's haddock to paddock
+breaks %s up for spare parts
+tags %s as 'wontfix'
+tags %s as 'obsolete'
+boils %s up for glue
+nails %s into a barrel and pushes them over Niagara Falls
+accuses %s of losing The Game
+douses %s in liquid nitrogen
+turns %s inside-out
+paints %s red and waits for the bulls
+signs %s up for a Scientology course
+shrieks hysterically at %s
+declares %s an unlawful combatant
+vetoes %s
+rubs bubblegum in %s's hair
+steals all %s's coffee
+heckles %s
+inflates %s and brandishes a pin
+thinks %s is worse than Microsoft Windows
+wonders why %s bothered getting out of bed today
+trolls %s
+runs %s through
+plays the harmonica at %s
+bricks %s up with a cask of Amontillado
+lands a TARDIS on %s
+practises acupuncture on %s
+rugby-tackles %s to the ground
+passes %s the underpants of shame
+removes %s's willy with a chainsaw
+throws a custard pie at %s
+violates %s's mind (and body) with the Necronomicon
+applies TCP_CORK to %s
+performs a capsaicin enema upon %s.
+rejects %s in favour of the null hypothesis.
+makes %s illegal.
+compiles %s with -trigraphs
+compiles %s with -Wtrigraphs
+turns %s into dogfood
+><> ><> %s
+sets %s and robhu up on a blind date
+gently taps %s with a menhir.
+invests all of %s's money in a high-grade structured credit strategy enhanced leverage fund.
+plays the viola at %s.
+thinks %s is comparable to iprocurement at its best
+defenestrates %s
+suggests %s re-installs Windows
+winders if %s has tried turning it off and then back on again
+sticks %s's head in a pig
+dices %s and jumps up and down on the bits
+reboots %s to apply patches
+erects a Faraday cage around %s
+offers %s natto
+pops up and offers %s help with their Word documents
+rains herring on %s
+throws a bucket of sprats at %s
+hurls anchovies at %s
+covers %s in eels