X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=trouts;h=2387e44090e0bf270b7d538e5e6f781005b41bae;hp=3069a56fa59b97974726fd84817ffd68c110ed9d;hb=164fa10938fe99c4deaa00c1863ffc6b4696d630;hpb=106e6368d1bdc0c28589ca400c284e5788239c12 diff --git a/trouts b/trouts index 3069a56..2387e44 100644 --- a/trouts +++ b/trouts @@ -421,3 +421,139 @@ resizes %s paints %s purple and waits for the goths plays the bagpipes at %s bricks %s up without a cask of Amontillado +marries %s just so it can cheat on them +lobs bricks at %s +nuisance-calls %s +inserts %s into a tin of shoe polish +thinks %s's village is missing its idiot +court-martials %s +suggests %s stick a pair of underpants on their head and pencils up their nose +demands the source code to %s +places four beetles in $s's bed +finds %s even less amusing than "your mum" jokes +drags and drops %s +sets the vermicious knids on %s +bashes %s +bites %s's neck +puts jam in %s's printer +delivers seven thousand octopuses to %s +removes all the buttons from %s's mouse +moderates %s +declares %s off-topic +throws a custard pie at %s +fills %s's bath with ducks +parks across %s's driveway +replaces %s with a 1GB shell script +waits until late Friday and then cancels %s's weekend +perforates %s's umbrella +flips %s the bird +turns half of %s's USB sockets upside-down +wishes %s's redshift were higher +gives %s a CD of Richard Stallman's greatest hits +gets %s to serve breakfast to Richard Stallman +invites %s to go forth and multiply, but not in a nice way +/ignores %s +frustrates %s's knavish tricks +confounds %s's politics +indents %s +disperses %s +smashes %s's best china +awards %s the wooden spoon +pops up and insists %s accept its cookies +glues %s to the ceiling +refills all %s's pens with green ink +puts %s into Room 101 +attacks %s with a pointed stick +covers %s in gold paint +sets TV Licensing on %s +appends the EICAR test file to all %s's emails +thinks %s should seek asylum in Ecuador +thinks %s should seek an asylum in Ecuador +thinks %s is only good enough to play for Accrington Stanley +decommissions %s +brings %s the head of Alfredo Garcia +sends the Go Compare man to sing at %s +sets a band of Russian meerkats on %s +sends %s orienteering with only Apple Maps as a navigation aid +blacklists %s +remixes %s into a Youtube sensation +throws a shoe at %s +feeds %s to the lampreys +feeds a surfeit of lampreys to %s +invites %s to consider the reply given in Arkell vs Pressdram +helps %s revoke all their biometrics +paints %s's buttocks blue +classifies %s as spam +trades in %s for a younger model +wonders if there's a cash incentive for scrapping %s +threatens to leave the country if %s wins the next election +invades %s's personal space +sticks %s in a cloud +thinks %s wouldn't need to dress up for Hallowe'en +places mines beneath %s's carpets +demands to see %s's birth certificate +detunes %s +dips %s in engine oil and throws them to the robo-lesbians +abandons %s in the Sahara with only Mark Thatcher for company +accuses %s of piracy, murder, rape, sodomy and incest, but suppresses the more serious charges +cuts and pastes %s +plays the birdie song to %s for a couple of weeks +mutes %s +misgenders %s +granulates %s +removes %s from its Christmas card list +bulldozes %s's house +clobbers %s +thinks %s is only good enough to play for Accrington Stanley +distributes poisson in %s's direction +poisons %s +requests that some friendly bombs fall on %s +prunes %s +sends all %s's packets via Royal Mail +tortures %s then bills them for information retrieval +quietly converts %s into a number +thinks %s should take up Russian roulette +removes from %s's computer all the interfaces that Apple now consider obsolete +shrink-wraps %s +sends %s to a shrink +shaves %s +volunteers %s for a position as gladiator at the Colosseum +freezes %s in carbonite +applies a tramp stamp to %s +toasts %s +proves to a UN inspector that %s is "beyond use" +shortens all %s's URLs +sends %s on a snipe hunt +removes %s from its will +puts banana in %s's shoe +puts a scorpion in %s's shoe +drives too fast then claims %s was driving +threatens to make the sky fall on %s's head +wonders how many ships %s's face would sink +calls %s a melon-farmer +puts a Tesco Value Burger in %s's bed +considers %s right but repulsive +kicks %s's ass +reads the comments to %s +undefines %s +pixelates %s +puts a tarantula in %s's bath +invites the Blame Cube to %s's party +dusts %s +installs Windows Vista on %s's computer +installs Windows ME on %s's computer +taxes %s +throws a triangular flapjack at %s +burns %s's bridges +hides %s's towel +tells %s about Roko's Basilisk +covers %s in bees +sets a Mongol horde upon %s +signs up %s for the next Christmas production in Ambridge +gives %s a cookie +thinks %s deserves a 21 trout salute +pills %s +sends %s a UKIP application form and some green ink +berates %s for not paying road tax +partitions %s +proclaims "%s est omnis divisa in partes tres"