X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=d60b05a032b773fe23c3469696cc32ee40c1f92d;hp=86199abe037b69400ba16a8a732f4a346bb3bac0;hb=c8a150c267c013e4bfab895042326da6395ad09b;hpb=3c03655efddad31f9db2e6ccc8a09b127591b211 diff --git a/flirts b/flirts index 86199ab..d60b05a 100644 --- a/flirts +++ b/flirts @@ -297,7 +297,7 @@ compares %s's beauty to that of Helen of Troy wonders how many ships %s's face would launch hopes %s is highly available considers %s wrong but romantic -sends % s an anonymous Valentine's Day card +sends %s an anonymous Valentine's Day card imagines %s in a nurse's uniform asks the pianist to play "As Time Goes By" for %s gives %s a cookie @@ -322,3 +322,45 @@ hopes for an expose event from %s sends an expose event to %s starts wearing purple for %s invites %s to wrestle in custard +sends the CEN a press release about how %s is wonderful +commissions Holbein to paint a portrait of %s +would never put %s in a corner +promotes %s to Chief Whip +sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows +is all about %s's bass +borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness +considers %s to be one of its five a day +wonders how many insertions %s is rated for +covers %s in baby sloths +throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention +serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba +hopes %s isn't non-free +offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough +fails to comprehend the difference between innocent flirtation and downright creepiness, causing %s to take out a restraining order +performs the putty.exe for %s +removes all the buttons from %s's blouse +builds a monorail for %s +wonders whether %s is to be loose or hump shunted +gives %s head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes) +wants to hear what %s got up to at band camp +spoons %s +wants to place an unexpected item in %s's bagging area +puts on its robe and wizard hat for %s +invites %s over for Netflix and chill +admires %s's column of excellence +maximises %s +substitutes a Class 98 for %s's expected train service +makes aeroplane nose art of %s +buys %s a silicone octopus negative +buys %s a silicone octopus +proclaims it would walk a thousand miles to fall down at %s's door +offers to take %s to a performance of Hamilton +thinks %s is the hottest thing since sunburn +performs a magnetic strip for %s +probes %s in a friendly manner +would not exchange %s for a wilderness of monkeys +would not swap %s for a whole ocean of fishes +resigns after admitting having made inappropriate advances towards %s +is seduced by %s's curves +would reverse Brexit for %s +vaunts %s