X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=b3170c669c8a776abdc2cd28851719c748dfa417;hp=f9379c4df8d0ebe82be6014f03c1a1d9d85caf09;hb=c7bcbeb87947c82cbe2645febd8088eecf25b6b0;hpb=11332a4211934568cda91e543d1ada28a4394fca diff --git a/flirts b/flirts index f9379c4..b3170c6 100644 --- a/flirts +++ b/flirts @@ -76,5 +76,72 @@ turns down the house lights for %s invites %s up to see its iPad can't wait to unbox %s dips %s in honey and throws them to the lesbians -blows %s' vuvuzela +blows %s's vuvuzela wonders if %s is multi-touch +takes photos of %s draped over a sports car +tips its hat to %s +would Photoshop %s but they are perfect already +would betray its country for %s +creates a dozen extra Twitter accounts just to follow %s +wears sexy underwear just for %s +is never gonna give %s up +wants to FaceTime %s +spies on %s through their webcam +dyes its hair for %s +newgroups alt.fan.%s +tattoos %s's name on its bottom +makes a backup copy of %s +throws itself at %s's feet +gets its tits out for %s +buys %s a nice dress +buys %s a revealing dress +asks %s out on a date +posts pictures of %s to rule34.paheal.net [NWS!] +emails %s its favourite cat pictures +lends %s all its spoons +searches the internet for pictures of %s +writes to Dan Savage for tips on seducing %s +cross-dresses just for %s +buys a telephoto lens just to take pictures of %s +offers %s some Madeira +offers %s a fork +gives %s a thumbs-up +goes speed-dating with a dozen clones of %s +writes a webcomic about the adventures of %s +dresses up as Batman for %s +club mammoth for %s. Ug! +sexts %s +defeats all of %s's evil exes +clones %s's repo +thinks %s is cuter than all the My Little Ponies put together +would open the pod bay doors for %s +takes upskirt photos of %s +sniffs %s's underwear +writes thousands of lines of elisp just for %s +showers %s with porcelain sunflower seeds +creates a .xxx domain just for %s +hopes rule 34 applies to %s +unzips %s +drives its tractor through %s's haystack +wonders if %s is single or transferable +doesn't want any alternatives to %s +writes 'I <3 U' in weedkiller on %s's lawn +writes about %s in popular culture +checks out %s's arse +shoots Ronald Reagan to impress %s +carves %s's name into its case +makes billions of software copies of %s to practice seducing them +fights trolls for %s +swims the Hellespont for %s +"accidentally" sends %s lewd pictures of itself using Twitter +sends %s dead plant sex organs +wears tinsel just for %s +puts on chrome makeup for %s +paints Tom Jones purple for %s +buys %s a ++Rowan Bear +imagines %s in a pair of Daisy Dukes +wonders if %s would like to meet its sister +wouldn't give a ... Castlemaine XXXX for anyone but %s +hacks into a spy satellite just to get a better look at %s +buys extra disk space just for pictures of %s +conjugates %s