X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=9fd57ab76fbc977950041a6b4314318991334314;hp=b513ea035409310f2af8924c115b1f5303655a21;hb=7ee220de38369037fa786e21af681ed7aa111268;hpb=3d475dda85f58d221bbc4f121736a32cb6365b81

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index b513ea0..9fd57ab 100644
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -182,7 +182,7 @@ admires %s's flanges
 admires %s's symmetry
 oils %s's camel
 wonders if %s wants to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
-hopes that %s will gets its message in a bottle
+hopes that %s will get its message in a bottle
 wonders how much %s charges for a good hard shag
 puts a red light outside its house in the hope of attracting %s
 wants %s's babies
@@ -209,3 +209,162 @@ inducts over %s
 finds %s's fixed point
 integrates over %s
 wishes %s had a higher genus
+tiptoes through the tulips with %s
+asks to see %s's dance card
+presents %s with a herd of moose
+admires %s's valves
+offers %s a duck
+gooses %s
+sneaks into %s's bedroom
+bashfuly admits its crush on %s
+invites %s to join it in the shower
+constructs a safe space for %s
+wouldn't kick %s out of bed for eating biscuits
+buys %s a dress made of bacon
+dyes %s pink
+buys %s a pony
+scans all %s's ports
+gets drunk to cope with %s's absence
+founds a monarchy in order to renounce its throne for %s
+wants to touch %s's base
+paints %s purple
+touches %s's bum
+wants to ring %s's bell
+gives %s a kitten
+dedicates a sonata to %s
+shakes its booty for %s
+builds a giant telescope in order to spy upon %s
+proposes naming an airport in honour of %s
+gets married just so it can be unfaithful with %s
+tells %s its password
+lubricates itself for %s
+copies all %s's mannerisms
+practices calling itself "Mrs %s"
+compares %s's arse to Pippa Middleton's
+honks %s's tits
+thinks %s should appear on Page Three
+gives %s a token ring
+immortalizes %s in song
+surveys %s
+builds a taller house in order to spy on %s sunbathing
+bites %s's neck
+wants to view photos of %s on a retina display
+trouts everything that isn't %s
+learns how to write "I love %s" in Chinese
+makes a mix-tape for %s
+makes cupcakes for %s
+manipulates LIBOR for %s
+scatters %s's enemies
+votes for %s
+tells %s what it wants, what it really really wants
+buys %s a bus
+wonders if %s is a cunning linguist
+sends %s a huge box of chocolates
+does a backflip to impress %s
+awards %s a gold medal
+would pay good money to watch %s play beach volleyball
+watches James Bond films to gain tips for seducing %s
+optimises %s
+thinks %s is too darn hot
+names an operating system after %s
+wonders whether there are fifty shades of %s
+whitelists %s
+wants to become overly attached to %s
+blows %s's whistle
+would carry a watermelon for %s
+decides to give %s a ring
+orders the latest iPad for %s's birthday present
+offers %s a bit of the old in-out in-out
+considers %s almost as sexy as an Aston Martin DB5
+tidies %s's living room floor
+buys %s a giant rubber duck
+sets up %s with its sister
+offers %s's father one thousand camels
+makes puppy-dog eyes at %s
+has %s's enemies shot
+sends %s selfies
+%s amat
+sends %s a partridge in a pear tree
+invites %s to bathe in a bath full of rose petals
+offers %s a ride in a surrey with a fringe on top
+rents a stretched limo for its date with %s
+lusts after %s, and would be prepared to commit the other deadly sins for them
+may not have room for a Mini, but does have room for %s
+puts %s in its will
+wonders if %s is cheaper than disk space
+paints %s's nipples with cochineal
+compares %s's beauty to that of Helen of Troy
+wonders how many ships %s's face would launch
+hopes %s is highly available
+considers %s wrong but romantic
+sends %s an anonymous Valentine's Day card
+imagines %s in a nurse's uniform
+asks the pianist to play "As Time Goes By" for %s
+gives %s a cookie
+thinks %s deserves a 21 gun salute
+knocks on %s's door and asks to see their panelling
+discovers an asteroid and names it after %s
+likes the cut of %s's jib
+thinks %s is better than a Kwik-Fit fitter
+wants to watch badgers with %s
+invites %s to one of its bunga bunga parties
+wonders whether %s will go down in the woods today
+offers to show %s where to buy tomatoes
+wolf-whistles at %s
+would still respect %s in the morning
+offers %s the gifts from "The Twelve Days of Christmas", all at once
+sets up a new TLD just for %s
+causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
+wonders whether %s's deviation is standard
+promises never to trout %s
+invites %s out on an ISO-8601 date
+hopes for an expose event from %s
+sends an expose event to %s
+starts wearing purple for %s
+invites %s to wrestle in custard
+sends the CEN a press release about how %s is wonderful
+commissions Holbein to paint a portrait of %s
+would never put %s in a corner
+promotes %s to Chief Whip
+sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows
+is all about %s's bass
+borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness
+considers %s to be one of its five a day
+wonders how many insertions %s is rated for
+covers %s in baby sloths
+throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention
+serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba
+hopes %s isn't non-free
+offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough
+fails to comprehend the difference between innocent flirtation and downright creepiness, causing %s to take out a restraining order
+performs the putty.exe for %s
+removes all the buttons from %s's blouse
+builds a monorail for %s
+wonders whether %s is to be loose or hump shunted
+gives %s head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes)
+wants to hear what %s got up to at band camp
+spoons %s
+wants to place an unexpected item in %s's bagging area
+puts on its robe and wizard hat for %s
+invites %s over for Netflix and chill
+admires %s's column of excellence
+maximises %s
+substitutes a Class 98 for %s's expected train service
+makes aeroplane nose art of %s
+buys %s a silicone octopus negative
+buys %s a silicone octopus
+proclaims it would walk a thousand miles to fall down at %s's door
+offers to take %s to a performance of Hamilton
+thinks %s is the hottest thing since sunburn
+performs a magnetic strip for %s
+probes %s in a friendly manner
+would not exchange %s for a wilderness of monkeys
+would not swap %s for a whole ocean of fishes
+resigns after admitting having made inappropriate advances towards %s
+is seduced by %s's curves
+would reverse Brexit for %s
+vaunts %s
+takes %s for a ride on a Flinker Leichter Innovativer Regional Triebzug
+covers %s in jam then clotted cream
+licks %s's doorknob
+hump-shunts %s