X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=7ce45748435e43c23d479747045724dd1cdfb8e8;hp=7c0f7a8127a95e0a0684bf2e994996acec69ab92;hb=26794097b3b0e36b4a37c8727b71a1322e252cfc;hpb=f551e82c7036b4864be5d3a00e6fef8a6b45a61a

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index 7c0f7a8..7ce4574 100644
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -76,9 +76,205 @@ turns down the house lights for %s
 invites %s up to see its iPad
 can't wait to unbox %s
 dips %s in honey and throws them to the lesbians
-blows %s' vuvuzela
+blows %s's vuvuzela
 wonders if %s is multi-touch
 takes photos of %s draped over a sports car
 tips its hat to %s
 would Photoshop %s but they are perfect already
 would betray its country for %s
+creates a dozen extra Twitter accounts just to follow %s
+wears sexy underwear just for %s
+is never gonna give %s up
+wants to FaceTime %s
+spies on %s through their webcam
+dyes its hair for %s
+newgroups alt.fan.%s
+tattoos %s's name on its bottom
+makes a backup copy of %s
+throws itself at %s's feet
+gets its tits out for %s
+buys %s a nice dress
+buys %s a revealing dress
+asks %s out on a date
+posts pictures of %s to rule34.paheal.net [NWS!]
+emails %s its favourite cat pictures
+lends %s all its spoons
+searches the internet for pictures of %s
+writes to Dan Savage for tips on seducing %s
+cross-dresses just for %s
+buys a telephoto lens just to take pictures of %s
+offers %s some Madeira
+offers %s a fork
+gives %s a thumbs-up
+goes speed-dating with a dozen clones of %s
+writes a webcomic about the adventures of %s
+dresses up as Batman for %s
+club mammoth for %s.  Ug!
+sexts %s
+defeats all of %s's evil exes
+clones %s's repo
+thinks %s is cuter than all the My Little Ponies put together
+would open the pod bay doors for %s
+takes upskirt photos of %s
+sniffs %s's underwear
+writes thousands of lines of elisp just for %s
+showers %s with porcelain sunflower seeds
+creates a .xxx domain just for %s
+hopes rule 34 applies to %s
+unzips %s
+drives its tractor through %s's haystack
+wonders if %s is single or transferable
+doesn't want any alternatives to %s
+writes 'I <3 U' in weedkiller on %s's lawn
+writes about %s in popular culture
+checks out %s's arse
+shoots Ronald Reagan to impress %s
+carves %s's name into its case
+makes billions of software copies of %s to practice seducing them
+fights trolls for %s
+swims the Hellespont for %s
+"accidentally" sends %s lewd pictures of itself using Twitter
+sends %s dead plant sex organs
+wears tinsel just for %s
+puts on chrome makeup for %s
+paints Tom Jones purple for %s
+buys %s a ++Rowan Bear
+imagines %s in a pair of Daisy Dukes
+wonders if %s would like to meet its sister
+wouldn't give a ... Castlemaine XXXX for anyone but %s
+hacks into a spy satellite just to get a better look at %s
+buys extra disk space just for pictures of %s
+conjugates %s
+offers %s a role in its new movie
+resolves to grass on rejs more often (at the instigation of %s)
+turns %s into a pillar of salt, and starts licking it
+assists %s with onanism
+gives %s a dutch rudder
+posts %s a French letter
+thinks %s could give their chair an orgasm
+names its pipes after %s
+binds its sockets to %s
+calls accept(2) on %s
+shows %s the breasts of St Agatha
+canonizes %s so it can make erotic sculptures of them
+gives %s a red hat
+paints devotional art of %s with no clothes on
+rims %s
+photoshops %s into its collection of Dalek porn
+names a Linux distribution after %s
+brings down the Greek economy just to get %s's attention
+thinks %s has a particularly well-designed ABI
+checks Twitter for news about %s every few minutes
+goes all gooey inside at the thought of %s
+has a warm feeling about %s
+buys %s transparent clothing
+saves the world because it has %s in it
+gets all starry-eyed about %s
+would pay the ransom if %s were ever kidnapped
+glances shyly at %s
+gets monumentally drunk and tells %s how it feels about them
+nominates %s for Pope
+buys Rockall and gives it to %s
+thinks peace, love, and %s are the most important things in the world
+buys %s a sand hopper
+fills %s's sand hopper
+admires %s's flanges
+admires %s's symmetry
+oils %s's camel
+wonders if %s wants to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
+hopes that %s will get its message in a bottle
+wonders how much %s charges for a good hard shag
+puts a red light outside its house in the hope of attracting %s
+wants %s's babies
+affectionately nibbles %s
+adds leap-seconds in order to spend more time with %s
+makes %s's world
+wonders what flavour condom to buy for %s
+slips a porn DVD into %s's sporran
+carves a statue of %s
+changes %s's SMS alert to an erotic moan
+reveals the code to its safe to %s
+works on being more classy around %s
+shines %s's buttons
+flashes %s
+oils %s
+invites %s to the ball
+posts %s a pizza
+gives %s a blue French horn
+puts on a french maid's outfit and cleans %s's house from top to bottom
+puts on a french maid's outfit and cleans %s from top to bottom
+checks %s's topology
+checks %s for topological defects
+inducts over %s
+finds %s's fixed point
+integrates over %s
+wishes %s had a higher genus
+tiptoes through the tulips with %s
+asks to see %s's dance card
+presents %s with a herd of moose
+admires %s's valves
+offers %s a duck
+gooses %s
+sneaks into %s's bedroom
+bashfuly admits its crush on %s
+invites %s to join it in the shower
+constructs a safe space for %s
+wouldn't kick %s out of bed for eating biscuits
+buys %s a dress made of bacon
+dyes %s pink
+buys %s a pony
+scans all %s's ports
+gets drunk to cope with %s's absence
+founds a monarchy in order to renounce its throne for %s
+wants to touch %s's base
+paints %s purple
+touches %s's bum
+wants to ring %s's bell
+gives %s a kitten
+dedicates a sonata to %s
+shakes its booty for %s
+builds a giant telescope in order to spy upon %s
+proposes naming an airport in honour of %s
+gets married just so it can be unfaithful with %s
+tells %s its password
+lubricates itself for %s
+copies all %s's mannerisms
+practices calling itself "Mrs %s"
+compares %s's arse to Pippa Middleton's
+honks %s's tits
+thinks %s should appear on Page Three
+gives %s a token ring
+immortalizes %s in song
+surveys %s
+builds a taller house in order to spy on %s sunbathing
+bites %s's neck
+wants to view photos of %s on a retina display
+trouts everything that isn't %s
+learns how to write "I love %s" in Chinese
+makes a mix-tape for %s
+makes cupcakes for %s
+manipulates LIBOR for %s
+scatters %s's enemies
+votes for %s
+tells %s what it wants, what it really really wants
+buys %s a bus
+wonders if %s is a cunning linguist
+sends %s a huge box of chocolates
+does a backflip to impress %s
+awards %s a gold medal
+would pay good money to watch %s play beach volleyball
+watches James Bond films to gain tips for seducing %s
+optimises %s
+thinks %s is too darn hot
+names an operating system after %s
+wonders whether there are fifty shades of %s
+whitelists %s
+wants to become overly attached to %s
+blows %s's whistle
+would carry a watermelon for %s
+decides to give %s a ring
+orders the latest iPad for %s's birthday present
+offers %s a bit of the old in-out in-out
+considers %s almost as sexy as an Aston Martin DB5
+tidies %s's living room floor
+buys %s a giant rubber duck