X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=2505b8f7735482e3e0fbc0cde3ea24002681cac0;hp=9f69d49d9b1fe1da43af39cb47a53ab1120cc4f9;hb=f5baf639118dfd005d45342c2234a081a4c4dc1e;hpb=14c9710d21ac83abd718791a73bc0341082d22e9 diff --git a/flirts b/flirts index 9f69d49..2505b8f 100644 --- a/flirts +++ b/flirts @@ -265,3 +265,92 @@ awards %s a gold medal would pay good money to watch %s play beach volleyball watches James Bond films to gain tips for seducing %s optimises %s +thinks %s is too darn hot +names an operating system after %s +wonders whether there are fifty shades of %s +whitelists %s +wants to become overly attached to %s +blows %s's whistle +would carry a watermelon for %s +decides to give %s a ring +orders the latest iPad for %s's birthday present +offers %s a bit of the old in-out in-out +considers %s almost as sexy as an Aston Martin DB5 +tidies %s's living room floor +buys %s a giant rubber duck +sets up %s with its sister +offers %s's father one thousand camels +makes puppy-dog eyes at %s +has %s's enemies shot +sends %s selfies +%s amat +sends %s a partridge in a pear tree +invites %s to bathe in a bath full of rose petals +offers %s a ride in a surrey with a fringe on top +rents a stretched limo for its date with %s +lusts after %s, and would be prepared to commit the other deadly sins for them +may not have room for a Mini, but does have room for %s +puts %s in its will +wonders if %s is cheaper than disk space +paints %s's nipples with cochineal +compares %s's beauty to that of Helen of Troy +wonders how many ships %s's face would launch +hopes %s is highly available +considers %s wrong but romantic +sends %s an anonymous Valentine's Day card +imagines %s in a nurse's uniform +asks the pianist to play "As Time Goes By" for %s +gives %s a cookie +thinks %s deserves a 21 gun salute +knocks on %s's door and asks to see their panelling +discovers an asteroid and names it after %s +likes the cut of %s's jib +thinks %s is better than a Kwik-Fit fitter +wants to watch badgers with %s +invites %s to one of its bunga bunga parties +wonders whether %s will go down in the woods today +offers to show %s where to buy tomatoes +wolf-whistles at %s +would still respect %s in the morning +offers %s the gifts from "The Twelve Days of Christmas", all at once +sets up a new TLD just for %s +causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction +wonders whether %s's deviation is standard +promises never to trout %s +invites %s out on an ISO-8601 date +hopes for an expose event from %s +sends an expose event to %s +starts wearing purple for %s +invites %s to wrestle in custard +sends the CEN a press release about how %s is wonderful +commissions Holbein to paint a portrait of %s +would never put %s in a corner +promotes %s to Chief Whip +sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows +is all about %s's bass +borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness +considers %s to be one of its five a day +wonders how many insertions %s is rated for +covers %s in baby sloths +throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention +serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba +hopes %s isn't non-free +offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough +fails to comprehend the difference between innocent flirtation and downright creepiness, causing %s to take out a restraining order +performs the putty.exe for %s +removes all the buttons from %s's blouse +builds a monorail for %s +wonders whether %s is to be loose or hump shunted +gives %s head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes) +wants to hear what %s got up to at band camp +spoons %s +wants to place an unexpected item in %s's bagging area +puts on its robe and wizard hat for %s +invites %s over for Netflix and chill +admires %s's column of excellence +maximises %s +substitutes a Class 98 for %s's expected train service +makes aeroplane nose art of %s +buys %s a silicone octopus negative +buys %s a silicone octopus +proclaims it would walk a thousand miles to fall down at %s's door