X-Git-Url: http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/ucgi/~matthewv/git?p=irc.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=flirts;h=121ca935071c2c50c22a7ec2d1b6e4cc3c08bac5;hp=2e6dcd4202a86aa541412c1e704e0a5155350c3d;hb=5ca4ef6769a832bb4da8b45d8f079b211d2d2464;hpb=e57ae745e373c1bf33f272e1a3919a3bfa20b12c

diff --git a/flirts b/flirts
index 2e6dcd4..121ca93 100644
--- a/flirts
+++ b/flirts
@@ -155,3 +155,184 @@ thinks %s could give their chair an orgasm
 names its pipes after %s
 binds its sockets to %s
 calls accept(2) on %s
+shows %s the breasts of St Agatha
+canonizes %s so it can make erotic sculptures of them
+gives %s a red hat
+paints devotional art of %s with no clothes on
+rims %s
+photoshops %s into its collection of Dalek porn
+names a Linux distribution after %s
+brings down the Greek economy just to get %s's attention
+thinks %s has a particularly well-designed ABI
+checks Twitter for news about %s every few minutes
+goes all gooey inside at the thought of %s
+has a warm feeling about %s
+buys %s transparent clothing
+saves the world because it has %s in it
+gets all starry-eyed about %s
+would pay the ransom if %s were ever kidnapped
+glances shyly at %s
+gets monumentally drunk and tells %s how it feels about them
+nominates %s for Pope
+buys Rockall and gives it to %s
+thinks peace, love, and %s are the most important things in the world
+buys %s a sand hopper
+fills %s's sand hopper
+admires %s's flanges
+admires %s's symmetry
+oils %s's camel
+wonders if %s wants to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
+hopes that %s will get its message in a bottle
+wonders how much %s charges for a good hard shag
+puts a red light outside its house in the hope of attracting %s
+wants %s's babies
+affectionately nibbles %s
+adds leap-seconds in order to spend more time with %s
+makes %s's world
+wonders what flavour condom to buy for %s
+slips a porn DVD into %s's sporran
+carves a statue of %s
+changes %s's SMS alert to an erotic moan
+reveals the code to its safe to %s
+works on being more classy around %s
+shines %s's buttons
+flashes %s
+oils %s
+invites %s to the ball
+posts %s a pizza
+gives %s a blue French horn
+puts on a french maid's outfit and cleans %s's house from top to bottom
+puts on a french maid's outfit and cleans %s from top to bottom
+checks %s's topology
+checks %s for topological defects
+inducts over %s
+finds %s's fixed point
+integrates over %s
+wishes %s had a higher genus
+tiptoes through the tulips with %s
+asks to see %s's dance card
+presents %s with a herd of moose
+admires %s's valves
+offers %s a duck
+gooses %s
+sneaks into %s's bedroom
+bashfuly admits its crush on %s
+invites %s to join it in the shower
+constructs a safe space for %s
+wouldn't kick %s out of bed for eating biscuits
+buys %s a dress made of bacon
+dyes %s pink
+buys %s a pony
+scans all %s's ports
+gets drunk to cope with %s's absence
+founds a monarchy in order to renounce its throne for %s
+wants to touch %s's base
+paints %s purple
+touches %s's bum
+wants to ring %s's bell
+gives %s a kitten
+dedicates a sonata to %s
+shakes its booty for %s
+builds a giant telescope in order to spy upon %s
+proposes naming an airport in honour of %s
+gets married just so it can be unfaithful with %s
+tells %s its password
+lubricates itself for %s
+copies all %s's mannerisms
+practices calling itself "Mrs %s"
+compares %s's arse to Pippa Middleton's
+honks %s's tits
+thinks %s should appear on Page Three
+gives %s a token ring
+immortalizes %s in song
+surveys %s
+builds a taller house in order to spy on %s sunbathing
+bites %s's neck
+wants to view photos of %s on a retina display
+trouts everything that isn't %s
+learns how to write "I love %s" in Chinese
+makes a mix-tape for %s
+makes cupcakes for %s
+manipulates LIBOR for %s
+scatters %s's enemies
+votes for %s
+tells %s what it wants, what it really really wants
+buys %s a bus
+wonders if %s is a cunning linguist
+sends %s a huge box of chocolates
+does a backflip to impress %s
+awards %s a gold medal
+would pay good money to watch %s play beach volleyball
+watches James Bond films to gain tips for seducing %s
+optimises %s
+thinks %s is too darn hot
+names an operating system after %s
+wonders whether there are fifty shades of %s
+whitelists %s
+wants to become overly attached to %s
+blows %s's whistle
+would carry a watermelon for %s
+decides to give %s a ring
+orders the latest iPad for %s's birthday present
+offers %s a bit of the old in-out in-out
+considers %s almost as sexy as an Aston Martin DB5
+tidies %s's living room floor
+buys %s a giant rubber duck
+sets up %s with its sister
+offers %s's father one thousand camels
+makes puppy-dog eyes at %s
+has %s's enemies shot
+sends %s selfies
+%s amat
+sends %s a partridge in a pear tree
+invites %s to bathe in a bath full of rose petals
+offers %s a ride in a surrey with a fringe on top
+rents a stretched limo for its date with %s
+lusts after %s, and would be prepared to commit the other deadly sins for them
+may not have room for a Mini, but does have room for %s
+puts %s in its will
+wonders if %s is cheaper than disk space
+paints %s's nipples with cochineal
+compares %s's beauty to that of Helen of Troy
+wonders how many ships %s's face would launch
+hopes %s is highly available
+considers %s wrong but romantic
+sends %s an anonymous Valentine's Day card
+imagines %s in a nurse's uniform
+asks the pianist to play "As Time Goes By" for %s
+gives %s a cookie
+thinks %s deserves a 21 gun salute
+knocks on %s's door and asks to see their panelling
+discovers an asteroid and names it after %s
+likes the cut of %s's jib
+thinks %s is better than a Kwik-Fit fitter
+wants to watch badgers with %s
+invites %s to one of its bunga bunga parties
+wonders whether %s will go down in the woods today
+offers to show %s where to buy tomatoes
+wolf-whistles at %s
+would still respect %s in the morning
+offers %s the gifts from "The Twelve Days of Christmas", all at once
+sets up a new TLD just for %s
+causes %s's wardrobe to malfunction
+wonders whether %s's deviation is standard
+promises never to trout %s
+invites %s out on an ISO-8601 date
+hopes for an expose event from %s
+sends an expose event to %s
+starts wearing purple for %s
+invites %s to wrestle in custard
+sends the CEN a press release about how %s is wonderful
+commissions Holbein to paint a portrait of %s
+would never put %s in a corner
+promotes %s to Chief Whip
+sets %s up with the second hottest person it knows
+is all about %s's bass
+borrows a thermal imaging camera in order to measure %s's hotness
+considers %s to be one of its five a day
+wonders how many insertions %s is rated for
+covers %s in baby sloths
+throws rocks at %s in order to get their attention
+serenades %s by playing a bottom B-flat on a tuba
+hopes %s isn't non-free
+offers %s sartorial tips from Stephen Gough