New trout from rejs, with wording improvements from Pinkbeast

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index f71336eceb97cfe533f077edb07af8b938e72e5f..f1123a18e4abca47b963aecf7763f123025edd4a 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -207,7 +207,7 @@ supplements %s with a fish
 hits %s with an omega-3-supplemented fish finger
 blows a vuvuzela in %'s ear
 reads the Eye of Argon to %s
-traps %s in a lift with Steve Jobs
+traps %s in a lift with Alan Sugar
 pops a cap in %s's ass
 spies on %s through their webcam
 sets flying monkeys on %s
@@ -344,3 +344,50 @@ renormalises %s
 accuses %s of witchcraft
 turns %s into a newt
 signs %s up for bulk fish delivery
+picks %s's low-hanging fruit
+installs Rick Santorum in %s's bedroom
+makes it known that the prime minister has "full confidence" in %s
+collides a large haddock with %s
+attacks %s with a banana
+scraps %s
+rackmounts %s
+assaults %s with Margaret Thatcher's handbag
+LARTs %s
+bustitutes %s
+downgrades %s's A-level results
+forces %s to walk the plank
+maroons %s on a desert island with only eight records and a useless luxury object for company
+creates a black hole and pushes %s beyond the event horizon
+shoves a giant picture of Jimmy Wales in %s's face
+pays The Who to follow %s around
+liquidizes %s's assets
+reduces %s to a soup-like homogenate
+asks Vladimir Putin to deal with %s
+thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's love life
+thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's investment strategy
+deconstructs %s
+attributes photos of Greek antiquities to %s and informs the Hellenic Ministry of Culture
+edits all %s's trouts to make them funny
+steals %s's shoes
+ties %s's shoelaces together
+compares %s to a winter's day
+forces %s to wear Princess Beatrice's hat
+sticks a deckchair up %s's nose
+places a PIX between %s and the rest of the world
+sends a person from Porlock to disturb %s
+sends an albatross to disturb %s
+ebays %s, but the reserve is not met
+cancels %s's show
+unleashes a swarm of hungry midges upon %s
+accuses %s of infringing its patents
+installs a lion on %s
+recites Vogon poetry to %s
+suggests that %s sodomise a stegosaurus
+immerses %s's internet connection in treacle
+claps %s in irons
+boxes %s's ears
+dyes %s pink
+performs a citizen's arrest upon %s
+declares %s the weakest link
+declares %s the missing link
+swives %s and bombs the consequences