new trout from Art

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index ba05f4b1f950ac6c6fc84890deb9f557838c0d34..be2dd83c35ae1e74e52d88a0979de9d6ce072952 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -355,7 +355,6 @@ assaults %s with Margaret Thatcher's handbag
 LARTs %s
 bustitutes %s
 downgrades %s's A-level results
-admires %s's valves
 forces %s to walk the plank
 maroons %s on a desert island with only eight records and a useless luxury object for company
 creates a black hole and pushes %s beyond the event horizon
@@ -365,3 +364,58 @@ liquidizes %s's assets
 reduces %s to a soup-like homogenate
 asks Vladimir Putin to deal with %s
 thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's love life
+thinks up Culture ship names based on %s's investment strategy
+deconstructs %s
+attributes photos of Greek antiquities to %s and informs the Hellenic Ministry of Culture
+edits all %s's trouts to make them funny
+steals %s's shoes
+ties %s's shoelaces together
+compares %s to a winter's day
+forces %s to wear Princess Beatrice's hat
+sticks a deckchair up %s's nose
+places a PIX between %s and the rest of the world
+sends a person from Porlock to disturb %s
+sends an albatross to disturb %s
+ebays %s, but the reserve is not met
+cancels %s's show
+unleashes a swarm of hungry midges upon %s
+accuses %s of infringing its patents
+installs a lion on %s
+recites Vogon poetry to %s
+suggests that %s sodomise a stegosaurus
+immerses %s's internet connection in treacle
+claps %s in irons
+boxes %s's ears
+dyes %s pink
+performs a citizen's arrest upon %s
+declares %s the weakest link
+declares %s the missing link
+swives %s and bombs the consequences
+drops an F-bomb on %s
+confiscates %s's property and hands it over to SOCA
+sets blue meanies on %s
+clamps down on %s
+rot13s one of %s's files
+gives %s an opportunity to test their backups
+dumps a giant metal gorilla in %s's garden
+sticks %s in a centrifuge
+shuts %s's fingers in a door to see if it hurts
+paints %s purple
+scans %s and shreds the original
+nails %s's head to the floor
+produces an expensive Hollywood remake of %s
+puts the puritans in charge of %s's party
+leaves thumb tacks on %s's chair
+shakes %s's booty
+staples George Osborne to %s's nose
+reads poetry to %s, and then throws them out of an airlock
+waxes %s's bikini line
+sells %s to a patent troll
+autocorrects %s
+executes %s in the background
+makes juvenile jokes about %s's name
+glues Jaffa Cakes to %s's ears
+verbs some nouns just to annoy %s
+appoints Tony Blair "peace envoy" to %s
+resizes %s
+paints %s purple and waits for the goths