new flirt from rjk

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
old mode 100644 (file)
new mode 100755 (executable)
index 1bb807e..817ec72
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -238,3 +238,44 @@ sends %s a red nose
 hides a porcupine in %s's bed
 forces %s to listen to Gaddafi's greatest speeches
 feeds %s drugs and waits for the Revolution
+inserts a lemon into %s
+irradiates %s
+exposes %s to ebola
+hollows out %s
+translates all %s's code into BOURNEGOL
+encrypts %s and throws away the key
+posts %s half a giraffe
+buries %s in elephant dung
+'accidentally' steps on %s's toes
+puts laxatives in %s's chocolate
+books %s on a holiday in Fukushima
+rmgroups %s
+compresses %s
+stamps on all %s's toys
+sends %s's phone number to twenty double glazing salespeople
+immerses %s's genitals in boiling oil
+writes 'I <3 U' in weedkiller on %s's lawn
+treats %s to 30,000 words on blancmange in popular culture
+vandalises %s's wikipedia entry
+adds #! /usr/bin/perl to the top of %s's python scripts
+pen-tests %s
+steals %s's vital bodily fluids
+hides a bomb in %s's cornflakes
+replaces %s's files with zalgo
+corrupts %s's DNA
+lies in wait for %s with a taser, some rubber tubing and a hacksaw
+shivs %s
+tells the Daily Mail all about %s
+puts a spring-loaded cactus in %s's toilet
+shops %s to the police
+varnishes %s's cake 
+malfunctions and machine-guns %s to death
+disarms %s, and then kills them anyway
+forces %s to sit through a week of compliance training
+blames %s
+challenges %s to a duel
+removes %'s atoms
+removes %'s electrons
+sends %s a SIGINT
+sends %s a SIGKILL
+rents %s's skull to a hermit crab