new trout from jtn

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 2d1f4a55d4cc1a1f6f306e8b3ab596785272b959..75594e88eeb09ae4d9bb2f3a3db4afbce11502f8 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -429,7 +429,7 @@ thinks %s's village is missing its idiot
 court-martials %s
 suggests %s stick a pair of underpants on their head and pencils up their nose
 demands the source code to %s
-places four beetles in $s's bed
+places four beetles in %s's bed
 finds %s even less amusing than "your mum" jokes
 drags and drops %s
 sets the vermicious knids on %s
@@ -440,7 +440,6 @@ delivers seven thousand octopuses to %s
 removes all the buttons from %s's mouse
 moderates %s
 declares %s off-topic
-throws a custard pie at %s
 fills %s's bath with ducks
 parks across %s's driveway
 replaces %s with a 1GB shell script
@@ -601,7 +600,6 @@ replaces the GUI on %s's smartphone with a CLI
 changes %s's password to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
 mails %s two hemispheres of plutonium and assembly instructions
 makes %s a plutonium omelette
-punishment-passes %s
 poisons %s's last Rolo
 forces %s to model the Sarah Lund knitwear collection
 leaves %s a card claiming that fish delivery was attempted but they were out
@@ -626,3 +624,40 @@ fails to exterminate %s, then blames them for moving the goalposts
 causes the Italian government to collapse and makes %s prime minister
 fragments %s
 disqualifies %s from the human race
+filters all the happy stories out of %s's Facebook feed
+reschedules %s onto a flight to TTD
+performs a machine-gun sonata for %s
+pushes a pineapple in a painful direction for %s
+calls for a government inquiry into %s
+decides %s deserves their own .fish domain
+shares its earworm with %s
+wishes %s would let it go
+demotes %s to Chief Whip
+accuses %s of handling salmon in suspicious circumstances
+throws shade at %s
+nominates %s for speedy deletion
+calls %s a monkey
+wishes %s would declare independence
+props %s up on bricks and steals all their wheels
+throws %s into an oubliette
+pushes %s out of a barnacle goose nest
+thinks there's something of the night about %s
+reckons %s couldn't outwit George W Bush
+gratuitously inserts punctuation into %s
+decorates %s with heavy-metal umlauts
+calls %s a pleb, then denies ever having done so
+changes %s's ringtone to "Agadoo"
+showers %s in unexpected raisins
+promises not to cancel cuts to the %s budget
+takes the sky from %s
+nerve-staples %s
+distims %s's doshes
+claims to be offended by %s and asks them to hide in a corner under a tablecloth
+trims %s
+sends %s an AOL CD
+crimps %s's bottom
+offers %s sartorial tips from Michael Portillo
+nominates %s for seedy depletion
+serves inferior fish to %s
+concretizes %s
+octofurcates %s