new trouts from rejs

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index f002a00bd5fffc89a8f7f46a8406e7281c99e98e..5231ddd00e280df49b299365b3838a93cfb3b233 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -674,3 +674,52 @@ notes that %s almost makes XML look good
 breaks up %s's favourite band
 does that thing %s hates
 replaces %s with the phrase 'fart fart fart'
+outsources trouting %s to Capita
+laminates %s
+sends %s to trout camp
+thinks %s's website is best viewed in lynx
+migrates %s's broadband to TalkTalk
+blames %s for the next trout
+spaghettifies %s
+changes %s's phone number to an illegal prime number
+assaults %s with a double bass
+assaults %s with a single bass
+"peacefully liberates" %s
+shears %s
+attacks %s with a salmon cannon
+outsources %s's brain to #chiark
+apologizes for the inconvenience caused by %s
+operates a %s-free environment, for your comfort and convenience
+tars %s
+requires %s to submit all their requests for trouts through the service desk
+rot13s %s's wibbly bits
+rearranges all the cards in %s's wallet
+forces %s to revoke all their biometrics
+writes an essay entitled "%s Considered Harmful"
+gives %s a five-second head start then releases the hounds
+adds trouting %s to its service catalogue
+adds snitching on %s to its service catalogue
+follows %s around tolling a bell and crying 'Shame!'
+cancels %s's favorite show, 3/4 of the way through the second season
+hits %s so hard that LIGO notices
+insults %s using the medium of interpretive dance
+comes out of its well to shame %s
+steals %s's skull
+beats %s to death with their own bloody femurs
+kicks %s down some hard stairs
+minimises %s
+deliberately misaddresses %s
+redirects all %s's Wikipedia requests to Conservapedia
+substitutes a Class 99 for %s's expected train service
+sends all %s's coffee to Germany
+thinks %s should resign from UKIP
+spiralizes %s
+hands %s an ominously ticking box
+breaks up the PLP to get rid of %s
+has the decency to stab %s in the front
+comes to the conclusion that %s can not do the job of prime minister
+builds a high wall around %s, then invoices them for construction costs
+posts %s's top
+posts %s's bottom
+thinks %s has the right grasp of nuance and fact to do well in UKIP
+holds a referendum on whether %s should leave #chiark