change the blind date trout

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index 0c99e0997f17278c0e8c141b0dbabc6391b93b49..22402b9366069d41a5e4f092f03b773ff05ba158 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
-hits %s with a wet trout.
-thwaps %s with a five-mile-long spacestation.
-sacrifices %s to dark gods.
-bites its thumb at %s.
+hits %s with a wet trout
+thwaps %s with a five-mile-long spacestation
+sacrifices %s to dark gods
+bites its thumb at %s
 replaces %s with a 2-line shell script
 takes off and nukes %s from orbit
 treats %s with the contempt they deserve
@@ -98,21 +98,21 @@ fills %s's ears with butter
 inverts %s
 throws %s to the lions
 sacrifices %s for the greater good
-patents %s's genome.
-covers %s in attack hamsters.
-brandishes a spoon at %s.
-searches %s for weapons of mass destruction.
-smears %s in blood and waits for the sharks.
-cackles malevolently at %s.
-clones %s and eats the original.
-teaches %s to think inside a very small box.
-looms at %s.
-calls down an airstrike upon %s.
-feeds %s to the all-powerful Sarlacc.
-affixes live crocodile clips to %s.
-causes %s to have acute razor burn.
-places the fleas of a thousand camels in %s's armpit.
-sticks %s's head on a spike.
+patents %s's genome
+covers %s in attack hamsters
+brandishes a spoon at %s
+searches %s for weapons of mass destruction
+smears %s in blood and waits for the sharks
+cackles malevolently at %s
+clones %s and eats the original
+teaches %s to think inside a very small box
+looms at %s
+calls down an airstrike upon %s
+feeds %s to the all-powerful Sarlacc
+affixes live crocodile clips to %s
+causes %s to have acute razor burn
+places the fleas of a thousand camels in %s's armpit
+sticks %s's head on a spike
 brings %s's haddock to paddock
 breaks %s up for spare parts
 tags %s as 'wontfix'
@@ -145,17 +145,16 @@ removes %s's willy with a chainsaw
 throws a custard pie at %s
 violates %s's mind (and body) with the Necronomicon
 applies TCP_CORK to %s
-performs a capsaicin enema upon %s.
-rejects %s in favour of the null hypothesis.
-makes %s illegal.
+performs a capsaicin enema upon %s
+rejects %s in favour of the null hypothesis
+makes %s illegal
 compiles %s with -trigraphs
 compiles %s with -Wtrigraphs
 turns %s into dogfood
 ><> ><> %s
-sets %s and robhu up on a blind date
-gently taps %s with a menhir.
-invests all of %s's money in a high-grade structured credit strategy enhanced leverage fund.
-plays the viola at %s.
+gently taps %s with a menhir
+invests all of %s's money in a high-grade structured credit strategy enhanced leverage fund
+plays the viola at %s
 thinks %s is comparable to iprocurement at its best
 defenestrates %s
 suggests %s re-installs Windows
@@ -171,3 +170,23 @@ throws a bucket of sprats at %s
 hurls anchovies at %s
 covers %s in eels
 migrates all %s's email to Microsoft Exchange
+puts all %s's computers behind NAT
+punches %s
+affixes live crocodiles to %s
+tortures %s with the collected bad puns of #chiark
+signs %s up for the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation choir
+deports %s
+thinks %s is even less relevant than Nick Clegg
+forces %s to listen to David Cameron's speeches
+sticks %s in a small room with Ian Paisley
+rains she-trolls down upon %s
+rains wheelbarrows on %s
+nominates %s for the UK Usenet Committee
+hits %s with a replica of Milan cathedral
+has %s transported to Botany Bay
+petitions the PM to abolish %s
+sneezes all over %s
+speculatively executes %s
+screams and leaps at %s
+hits %s with a cockatrice corpse
+sets %s up on a blind date with Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand