new trout from rjk

[irc.git] / trouts

diff --git a/trouts b/trouts
index b89c6e44db1420a8ed460cdd4fa5d3c6213d131e..1d95414d9e48153e4858d91109495281c888625a 100644 (file)
--- a/trouts
+++ b/trouts
@@ -504,7 +504,6 @@ granulates %s
 removes %s from its Christmas card list
 bulldozes %s's house
 clobbers %s
-thinks %s is only good enough to play for Accrington Stanley
 distributes poisson in %s's direction
 poisons %s
 requests that some friendly bombs fall on %s
@@ -574,3 +573,33 @@ prints 32767 copies of the Windows Printer Test Page just for %s
 measures %s up for a casket
 appoints %s drummer for Spinal Tap
 will proclaim %s's faults
+inserts a cuddly trout into %s's pizza
+whacks %s over the head with a ukulele
+delivers 28,000 tonnes of coal to %s
+buys %s a Windows phone
+politely suggests %s look at the documentation
+bends all %s's spoons
+gets Jony Ive to redecorate %s's house
+shuts down all "inessential" government activities and blames it on %s
+refuses to raise %s's debt ceiling
+gives %s a reminder to call the vet
+stores %s in a cool dark place, away from strong odours
+compares %s to the null trout
+folds %s into an elaborate origami representation of nothing
+discovers that %s cannot be repaired using common workshop tools
+decides that %s's genitalia would not be much use as a trout
+cleans %s's clock
+asks %s to quit their jibber-jabber
+sets %s's sticky bit
+eats %s
+drives round in a van telling %s to go home
+darns %s
+refers the castration of %s with a bread-knife to the ethics committee, then ignores their verdict
+thinks %s couldn't fool Baldrick
+believes %s is only half witty
+replaces the GUI on %s's smartphone with a CLI
+changes %s's password to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
+mails %s two hemispheres of plutonium and assembly instructions
+makes %s a plutonium omelette
+punishment-passes %s
+poisons %s's last Rolo