changes %s's password to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
mails %s two hemispheres of plutonium and assembly instructions
makes %s a plutonium omelette
-punishment-passes %s
poisons %s's last Rolo
forces %s to model the Sarah Lund knitwear collection
leaves %s a card claiming that fish delivery was attempted but they were out