offers %s a one way ticket to Mars
decapitates %s
slaps %s with a wet haddock
-plays the xylophone on %s 's kneecaps
+plays the xylophone on %s's kneecaps
lands a minke whale on %s
inverts %s
sends %s to Cuba
replaces %s with a papier mache replica
attaches an extra three noses to %s
eviscerates %s with a trowel
-anihilates %s
+annihilates %s
wonders what God was thinking of when He made %s
removes %s from the gene pool
performs a lube-less rectal on %s
reminds %s that life is not a game of Nethack
thinks that %s would give a cannibal nausea
wonders if %s is ever going to become a swan
-drops an anvil on $s from a great height
-disparages $s's mother
-blows raspberries, blackberries and oranges at $s
-would eat $s's brains but can't find them
-thinks $s could do with less coffee
-jumps for joy at the thought of $s
-offers $s a bunch of flowers
-blows kisses at $s
-falls head over heels in love with $s
-stuffs $s into a small box and nails down the lid
-bites $s's ankles
-pulls a moonie at $s
-throws $s a bone
-invites $s to go jump
-invites $s to a party
-throws jelly at $s
-throws $s from the top of the empire state building
-drops a small hydrogen bomb on $s
-curses $s unto the seventh generation
-asks if $s is a man or a mouse
-questions $s's lineage
+drops an anvil on %s from a great height
+disparages %s's mother
+blows raspberries, blackberries and oranges at %s
+would eat %s's brains but can't find them
+thinks %s could do with less coffee
+stuffs %s into a small box and nails down the lid
+bites %s's ankles
+pulls a moonie at %s
+throws %s a bone
+invites %s to go jump
+throws jelly at %s
+throws %s from the top of the empire state building
+drops a small hydrogen bomb on %s
+curses %s unto the seventh generation
+asks if %s is a man or a mouse
+questions the lineage of %s
accuses %s of being a goth
+creeps up on %s wielding a crush emasculator
+watches %s splashing around in the shallow end of the gene pool
+swashbuckles the +2 Blessed Trout of Doom in %s's face
+runs over %s with a tank
+throws a rotten head of cabbage at %s
+flagellates %s with a birch branch
+sends %s to Coventry
+recoils from %s as if they have the plague
+kicks %s into touch
+teleports %s to the Dimension of Pain
+pours sour milk into %s's coffee
+drops a ferret into %s's clothing
+throws %s into the Cam
+tries to steal %s's dinner money
+attaches a debugger to %s
+introduces %s to the business end of half a wasp
+drives a manure spreader past %s
+goes flying with %s tied to a wing
+throws an explosive banana at %s
+subscribes %s to 1001 junk mail lists
+points at %s and laughs
+dices %s and feeds them to Ross Anderson
+follows %s around in a black helicopter
+dissects %s in public
+threatens %s with a rectal thermometer
+thwaps %s with IWJ's +10 rod of deprecation
+buys %s a fake RAF moustache
+earnestly discusses railway routing regulations with %s
+folds %s into an elaborate origami representation of a mackerel
+reports %s to the RIAA
+hands %s a live grenade
+throws a cat at %s
+kidnaps %s and fills their shoes with custard
+plays Britney Spears songs at %s
+fills %s's ears with butter
+inverts %s
+throws %s to the lions
+sacrifices %s for the greater good
+patents %s's genome.
+covers %s in attack hamsters.
+brandishes a spoon at %s.
+searches %s for weapons of mass destruction.
+smears %s in blood and waits for the sharks.
+cackles malevolently at %s.
+clones %s and eats the original.
+teaches %s to think inside a very small box.
+looms at %s.
+calls down an airstrike upon %s.
+feeds %s to the all-powerful Sarlacc.
+affixes live crocodile clips to %s.
+causes %s to have acute razor burn.
+places the fleas of a thousand camels in %s's armpit.
+sticks %s's head on a spike.
+brings %s's haddock to paddock
+breaks %s up for spare parts
+tags %s as 'wontfix'
+tags %s as 'obsolete'
+boils %s up for glue
+nails %s into a barrel and pushes them over Niagara Falls
+accuses %s of losing The Game
+douses %s in liquid nitrogen
+turns %s inside-out
+paints %s red and waits for the bulls
+signs %s up for a Scientology course
+shrieks hysterically at %s
+declares %s an unlawful combatant
+vetoes %s
+rubs bubblegum in %s's hair
+steals all %s's coffee
+heckles %s
+inflates %s and brandishes a pin
+thinks %s is worse than Microsoft Windows
+wonders why %s bothered getting out of bed today
+trolls %s
+runs %s through
+plays the harmonica at %s
+bricks %s up with a cask of Amontillado
+lands a TARDIS on %s
+practises acupuncture on %s
+rugby-tackles %s to the ground
+passes %s the underpants of shame
+removes %s's willy with a chainsaw
+throws a custard pie at %s
+violates %s's mind (and body) with the Necronomicon
+applies TCP_CORK to %s
+performs a capsaicin enema upon %s.
+rejects %s in favour of the null hypothesis.
+had %s's mum. She cried out their name!
+makes %s illegal.
+compiles %s with -trigraphs
+compiles %s with -Wtrigraphs
+turns %s into dogfood
+><> ><> %s
+sets %s and robhu up on a blind date
~matthewv / irc.git / blobdiff